Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Individuals are not think this talk easily because according to every person age their harmones and most of them thinking change due to increased time table.First thing is that in every place even than friegn countries no any provide job after 50 years above people.Because all employeers are not happy working with that aged members.

Government should some facilities for this aged group residents because if they had no any particulars things provide that is poverity increased rapidally beacuse during this modern era children think their parents are become a burden in their life.but they forget this thing their parents too much sacrifices for build their reputed future and lifestyle,they sustain their dreams with all responsibilites own sholuders but never any difficulty face in their life.

For example, if you want to move on your right destination you always follow and travelled in high class train which engine works properly and fastly and another side if engine works not properly no anyone reached at their destination and never fulfilled dreams and ambitions if you pursue for a right decision not anyones sweet anoyed talks.on that time every person think that its work like a peace of cake but they forget this thing its onuly possible for your right decision same as if you want to become a richest person for live a healthy and wealthy life you should always keep their parents and elders hand then just watch your life shine like a rise of sun and bright as moon.

To conclude if anyone not follow these things government should give every facilites to years above residents their medical,grocery,clothes and all of them take their responsibilites and every months give pension for their little bit works.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and tangentially. While the writer attempts to address the prompt regarding the difficulties faced by people over fifty in securing employment, the ideas remain highly limited and under-developed. The discussion regarding the causes and measures drifts into philosophical statements, personal advice, and sweeping generalizations about family dynamics and respect for elders rather than a structured exploration of economic or corporate factors. For instance, the section comparing job market dynamics to a train engine and advising readers to keep their parents' hands to make life shine fails to present a clear position or relevant, well-supported arguments. To move toward a higher level, the writer must ensure that all ideas directly relate to the prompt, offering distinct, well-reasoned causes such as ageism or technological shifts, followed by concrete, realistic solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the response. Although paragraph breaks are used, the logical progression between sentences and paragraphs is frequently disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic and highly confusing analogies. For example, the transition from discussing poverty and family burdens into the train engine metaphor and parental blessings creates a disjointed reading experience. Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of reasoning. Referencing is often unclear, such as the pronoun usage in sentences like 'if you pursue for a right decision not anyones sweet anoyed talks.' To achieve a more coherent structure, the writer needs to organize ideas logically, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic, and use appropriate, accurate cohesive devices to link sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors that frequently strain the reader's understanding. The writer relies heavily on simple words and experiences frequent issues with word choice, collocation, and word formation. Examples of problematic lexical choices include 'harmones' instead of hormones, 'friegn countries' instead of foreign countries, 'poverity increased rapidally' instead of poverty increased rapidly, and 'peace of cake' instead of piece of cake. Attempts to use less common vocabulary often result in unnatural phrasing, such as 'richset person for live a healthy and wealthy life.' To improve lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, paying close attention to correct spelling, word forms, and natural collocations suitable for academic writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, and errors are frequent, often distorting the intended meaning. The response relies mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are consistently faulty due to poor subordination and missing structural elements. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions. Examples include 'Individuals are not think this talk easily', 'no any provide job after 50 years above people', 'Government should some facilities', and 'every months give pension'. Additionally, punctuation is weak, leading to run-on sentences and fragmented thoughts. To elevate this aspect of writing, the student needs to practice forming accurate simple and complex sentences, ensure proper verb agreement, and carefully review basic grammatical patterns.

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