Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nations, it can be hard for old people to find a best job opportunities, regardles of their experience. I find myself standing tall with the provided notion as the technology development and efficieny of working health and well being both the point of view will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, one of the main reason why i agree with that it old generaction can not find job with their experience is because of technology development. For example, many companies use advance technology methods to made something new in industries, where old people do not have knowledge to use them, so companies can not heired old people. Moreover, the age of over 50 people are not health, so they can not take any stress, which also effect their work efficiency, that why compaines avoid to people at company for work.

Moving further, if old people can not got a best job with their experience, they can use their experience to start a small business with young generation. To cute an example, many youngester do not knowledge of start business or how to manage the company, so they can easily asked the old people because they have connection or experience, when they face any difficulty during their busniess, which help old to spend their time as well as make some money. Apart from this, government can also provide retirement for people, who can not get job after their age, which help them to stay health and relax at home without any worries of money. Government also start some old age center, where old people can share their experience with people.

To recapitulate it, discusse both the ponit who help old people to get job after over 50 age. It will help old people to share their experience with young generation and over come their health issues with the help of government support.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the causes of employment difficulties for people over 50 and measures to solve the problem, earning a solid partial alignment with the task requirements. However, the position is not always clearly sustained, and the ideas presented are somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the causes are briefly attributed to technological advancement and health concerns, but these arguments lack detailed support or specific real-world examples. Similarly, the suggested solutions, such as mentoring younger generations or relying on government retirement schemes, are introduced superficially without exploring how they effectively resolve the core issue. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to fully develop each main idea with relevant explanations, clear evidence, and a more consistent, coherent position throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Information is generally presented with some organisation, using basic transition signals like 'To commence with' and 'Moving further' to guide the reader through the paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by mechanical or repetitive cohesive devices, and referencing is not always clear, such as in the concluding summary which abruptly reintroduces points rather than synthesising them effectively. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow within paragraphs often lacks smooth transitions. To achieve a higher standard, the writer must ensure that logical relationships between sentences are clearly established and that cohesive devices are used more accurately and naturally without feeling forced or repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message of the essay. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'technological development' and 'efficiency', but these attempts are frequently marred by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'best job opportunities', 'heired', 'compaines', 'youngester', and 'busniess'. These lexical inaccuracies occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To improve this criterion, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, pay closer attention to word forms and collocations, and practice correct spelling for common academic terms so that precise meanings can be communicated without frequent errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simpler sentence patterns alongside frequent attempts at complex sentences that are often faulty. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as in 'one of the main reason why i agree with that it old generaction can not find job', 'the age of over 50 people are not health', and 'if old people can not got a best job'. These frequent errors frequently cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To reach the next level, the writer must demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, reduce the frequency of grammatical errors, and ensure that complex clauses are formed accurately with correct punctuation and agreement.

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