Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries, people struggles to find a better job after reaching the age of 50, even after having enough experience. This is because companies are laying off their experienced employees to hire freshers. To overcome this problem, the people who are expert in their fields should open their own business.

These days, many organizations or the corporate companies are laying iff their well experienced employees to hire young people. The main reason that, the freshers who has less knowledge about the work are agreed to start their career at low amount of salary to gain experience. In addition, the younger generations are capable of solving all kind of complex pronlems in the company. For example, in IT company the seniors ask extra pay for additional work, whereas for juniors, they are ready to do overtime or night shifts at the same salary. Hence this is beneficial for the people who starts up small businesses.

To overcome this issue, the government officials should take some small measures to solve this problem, such as, sending a notice to corporate companies to allow seniors employees to work till the age of retirement and also set a fixed pension after they are retired. However, this solution is helpful older generations to grab a job.

To conclude, corporate people fired their seniors for cost cutting and hire youth people. However, this problem can be solved by setting up their organisat

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, as the length requirement of 250 words is not met, with the essay falling short at 236 words. Furthermore, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. While the introduction outlines causes such as companies laying off older workers to hire freshers, and solutions like opening independent businesses, these points are not sufficiently extended with robust examples or evidence. The second paragraph attempts to explain the financial and technical reasons behind this trend, but the reasoning is repetitive and simplistic. The position of the writer is evident, but the lack of thorough elaboration and the failure to meet the minimum word count keep this section at a lower level. To improve, you must ensure you write at least the minimum required words and expand your arguments with specific, fully explained examples rather than brief generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text displays some organisation, including basic paragraphing, but lacks a clear overall progression. Although transitional phrases such as 'To overcome this problem' and 'To conclude' are used, cohesive devices are at times inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, which disrupts the natural flow of ideas. For instance, the referencing between paragraphs can be disjointed, and the final paragraph cuts off abruptly before the conclusion can be fully articulated. The logical relationship between causes and measures is noticeable, yet the progression feels mechanical. To achieve a higher standard, ensure that every paragraph flows smoothly into the next using a wider and more varied range of cohesive devices, and always complete your concluding statements rather than leaving sentences unfinished.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the basic meaning of the topic. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'corporate companies', 'cost cutting', and 'complex problems', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, including phrases like 'people struggles', 'lay off their well experienced employees', and 'low amount of salary'. Spelling errors are also present, such as 'pronlems' and 'organisat'. These inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted lexical repertoire. To elevate your lexical score, focus on using precise word forms, natural collocations, and avoid repetitive phrasing by incorporating a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary with accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentence forms while attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'the freshers who has less knowledge', 'for juniors, they are ready', and 'helpful older generations to grab a job'. Additionally, awkward phrasing in relative clauses and conditional structures highlights a lack of secure control over grammar. While communication is not entirely obscured, frequent errors cause strain for the reader. To move to a higher band, you should incorporate a balanced mix of complex sentence structures, ensuring that verb tenses, agreements, and prepositions are used accurately across all sentences.

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