Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In different countries, there is a serious concern for 50 plus peoples, they faced a difficulties to acquire a get a good profession. This essay will discuss the main assoicated problem with this issue and how we tackle the this problem.

There are severals problem which are responsible for issue, one problem is poor health and fitness. Many individuals do not maintain their good health because he eats junk food. Moreever, junk food cause several health problem like, blood pressure and other heart disease because he did not excercise regularly. Furthermore, They did not maintain their fitness. For example, a fifty plus men, who did not care about their diet and after eating excessive amount of food, he did not excercise daily. After some time face health problem and his not able to do any kind of work.

There are several solution whichare helpful in this situation, one solution is governments should start public awerness program, due this programs people will realise how we maintain our daily diet. For instance, in islamabad several old people are now doing job after taking a governments workshop. Another solution is they should excercise daily this can help in making good stemna, morevwr it is also helpful for reducing a chance of health problem. For example, a military retired person who continousely excerise regularly he can serve in a army for a long time( untill 70 years) with any health problem because he is physically fit.

In conclusion, poor health and fitness is main cause of people did get job after 50. While government program and proper excercise can help to get a job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting limited ideas that lack sufficient development and support. The writer identifies poor health and fitness as the main cause of the employment difficulty for people over 50, but this point is tied to simplistic generalisations rather than well-reasoned socio-economic or age-discrimination arguments. The suggested solutions, such as public awareness programs and daily exercise, are also somewhat superficial and restricted in scope. While the main parts of the prompt regarding causes and solutions are touched upon, the overall development remains underdeveloped and repetitive, preventing the response from reaching a higher level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some overall organisation with clear paragraph breaks separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, yet there is a lack of clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, as seen with phrases like 'one problem is' and 'there are several solution whichare helpful'. Referencing within and between sentences is occasionally unclear, such as shifting pronouns abruptly between singular and plural forms when referring to individuals over 50. While the logical arrangement allows the reader to follow the general trajectory of ideas, the mechanical and faulty use of cohesive ties keeps the writing at this level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, resulting in noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student makes frequent word choice, collocation, and word form errors, such as '50 plus peoples', 'acquire a get a good profession', 'severals problem', and 'public awerness program'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are sparse and frequently inaccurate, relying heavily on basic, repetitive terms throughout the response. To progress further, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, ensuring greater precision in word choice and significantly improving control over standard word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors involving subject-verb agreement, articles, plurals, and verb tenses, such as 'they faced a difficulties', 'he eats junk food', 'junk food cause several health problem', and 'governments workshop'. Punctuation is also problematic in places, with run-on structures and missing commas. These frequent errors disrupt the flow of reading and demonstrate poor control over basic and complex grammatical patterns alike.

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