Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Ever since the dwan of history, some countries,it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience is becaome a mejor concern in the society.This essay will discuss the both main causes of this porblem and suggest some effective solution of this issue.
On the one hand, there are several significant reasone behind this problem.The first and foremost problem is that many Old people are day by day they forget some things in job releted work. This is because people over the age of 50 can some time forget some things releted to work and this problem can effeact in bussiness.To epitomize,
when the compnay is give different type work the people who over the 50 age they have more resposnsibility and they also do to complete their all work but some time they forget their work because of their daily life stress. Futhermore, another significant causes is that pelope capacity some time when the manager give the lot of work but this age group people can't have more capacity to sit continue in chair and complete their work and sometime they feel stressfull.
On the other hand,severel effective measures can be taken to takcal this problem. The Foremost reason is that company shoud hire this seniar person of this age group pepole. This is mainly because this people can have more experience they explain to the other emploeey to how do work properly.for example, 50 age people have more knowledge they share the real soluitoon of the problem.In addition, rise their work fast to hired this experience people.
To conclusion, very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience can be addressing the throw the hire more emploey and work make fast.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss causes and solutions regarding employment difficulties for people over 50. Thirty-seven words copied directly from the prompt were not counted. The position is somewhat unclear due to underdeveloped ideas and lack of clear support. While the writer touches on memory and physical capacity as causes, these ideas are presented in a repetitive, limited manner without clear examples or relevant evidence. The proposed solutions, such as hiring senior people for their experience, lack clear articulation and depth. Overall, the ideas remain limited and under-developed, preventing the response from achieving a higher level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation with the use of standard paragraph breaks and transitional markers such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, and referencing is often unclear, as seen in sentences like 'This is mainly because this people can have more experience'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical progression is disrupted by mechanical and repetitive phrasing, making the flow of arguments difficult for the reader to follow consistently.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable vocabulary and spelling errors that cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'dwan' instead of 'dawn', 'becaome', 'mejor', 'porblem', 'releted', 'effeact', 'bussiness', 'seniar', 'emploeey', 'soluitoon', and 'emploey'. Word choice and collocations are basic and repetitive, with frequent attempts at less common vocabulary resulting in high error density, such as 'rise their work fast' or 'work make fast', which impede clear communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on basic forms with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are almost entirely faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article use, prepositions, and verb tenses, such as 'some countries,it can be very difficult... is becaome a mejor concern', 'when the compnay is give different type work', and 'this age group people can't have more capacity to sit continue in chair'. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and significantly impact readability.
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