Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some parts of the world it may be very difficult to get a good job for age over 50. However, they have lot of expereince; despite they could not find a good job.

One major factor, is that finding a good job for people with aged more than 50 is tough. Though they have lot of expereice they could not find a relevant job. Many people believe that most of the people cannot work as much as they want just because of age. Many proportions of the people with the age more than 50 can work however, they don't have much experience for that work. While many people have expereince of that work but due to age they cannot be able to do that work. I believe that people with lot of experience who are able to work physically and trying to find a relevant job for them self should get emplyoment (physically) in their experinced field. Because they are experienced and are able to do any physical work.

On the other hand, most of the people cannot find any relevant job for them self due to age problem or lack of experiencen. However i believe that experienced people should get emplyoment technically. As an example; a person named Marco ( age 52) has lot of experience about teaching nevertheless, due to leg pain he not able to teach properly. Howevery, with the assist of social media like youtube and more like this where he can teach however he likes. For those people who can work but have lack of experience should get employement physically and other expereinced staff or members should provide him information about their work to make him confident and experienced.

To conclude, in many countries people with aged more than 50 cannot find a relevant job for them self due to lack of experience or age problem however, they still can find a job for them self with the help of technology and experienced staff or members.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your position is that older workers can still contribute if jobs are matched to their abilities. The example of Marco teaching through YouTube gives one practical measure, while your suggestion that experienced staff support less-experienced workers adds another. However, the causes are not clearly explained: age-related assumptions are mentioned, but the discussion then shifts to older people supposedly lacking experience, which does not directly explain why experienced applicants struggle to get good jobs. The proposed measures also need clearer links to the causes and more specific explanation. Develop one or two causes consistently, then show how each measure would address them, using a focused example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help identify stages of the essay. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or placed in unclear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves between older people’s experience, physical ability and employment without establishing a clear sequence; the next paragraph introduces lack of experience, which conflicts with the earlier emphasis on experience. Some linking words, including “However” and “nevertheless,” do not show a clear contrast in context. Organise the essay around distinct causes and solutions, and use referencing and transitions to make the connection between each point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “experience,” “relevant job,” “employment” and “technology,” so the main topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “lot of experience,” “age problem” and “relevant job.” There are also frequent spelling and word-choice problems, such as “expereince,” “emplyoment” and “experienced staff or members,” which make the writing less clear and natural. Some expressions, including “people with aged more than 50” and “employment technically,” are not idiomatic. Build a more precise set of phrases for causes and solutions, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using clauses introduced by “though,” “while,” “because” and “who.” This shows some range, and the main message can usually be understood. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles and agreement recur. For example, “despite they could not find a good job” does not form a correct clause, and “he not able to teach properly” is missing an auxiliary verb. In “a person named Marco … has lot of experience,” the article is also missing. Some punctuation around clauses and introductory phrases is inaccurate. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check articles and verb forms carefully.

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