Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These days incrising number of people can hire experience employee. In few nations, it can be very hard for indivitual over the age of older people to take good jobs, as compare to younger generation, despite their experience. There could be multiple reasons for such a situation; however, a few proactive suggestions can help to address the issue. Both, the possible motives as well as the measures are discussed in upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate example.

In that company hire employee in contarst they also choose experience worker. However in that time younger work more rather older worker. logic was used by own mindset, yet amity selected aver the age of 50. New generation people who have more knowledge rather then old age experience person. As example, If company hire younger employee, they do better work with energy. In addition company will grewn by the younger staff.

In order to situation some steps can be taken. To being with, business also hire younger staff and improve their own business with idea. When corporation are likely to hire older people that younger people could unemployement after they will do crime, any other thong. Therefor our economy growth make less. So more experience people was taken retirement by amity. As a result, new generation people get job and improve our county.

In conclusion, agency also take on non-experience worker, But also lease experience people. I have too parsley with that statement because both types of work could hire for work so our country had in balance. Moreover more people work rather of all ages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to address both causes and solutions, and the response includes a general view that employers should hire people of different ages. However, the causes are not clearly explained: the point that younger workers have “more knowledge” and “do better work with energy” is asserted rather than supported, and its connection to the difficulty faced by over-50s remains unclear. The proposed measures are also limited and partly contradictory. For example, you suggest hiring younger staff, but do not explain how this would help older applicants; the conclusion mentions hiring both groups without developing a practical solution. To strengthen the response, state the causes directly and explain specific measures, such as retraining or age-discrimination policies, with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the discussion by topic. Some linking expressions, including “In addition,” “As a result” and “In conclusion,” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several sentences are unclear or do not connect logically. For instance, the shift from younger workers being hired to older workers taking retirement is not explained, and the paragraph about solutions moves from hiring younger staff to unemployment and crime. References such as “that statement” are also unclear. Use one main point per paragraph, arrange supporting explanations in a clear sequence, and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You attempt vocabulary related to employment and the economy, including “experience worker,” “corporation,” “unemployment” and “economy growth.” However, the range is basic and several word choices, collocations and spelling errors make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “incrising number,” “take good jobs,” “grewn by the younger staff” and “I have too parsley with that statement.” Some expressions appear to be attempts at more formal language but are not used accurately. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations; for example, use “experienced employees,” “secure a good job,” and “economic growth.” Clear, accurate wording is more useful than complicated phrases whose meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You try to use both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “despite their experience” and a conditional sentence beginning “If company hire younger employee.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes distort meaning. Examples include “In few nations, it can be very hard,” “When corporation are likely to hire,” and “more experience people was taken retirement,” which show problems with articles, agreement, verb forms and sentence construction. Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical relationship between their clauses. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check articles and plural forms, and ensure that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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