Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Lets illustrates the given topic given above , the people of over age 50 are facing some problems related their jobs frequently in some countries . This is so difficult for me right now to talk about other country i can explain you with the eample of my country Pakistan. Pakistan is a democratic country in which all the fascilities is given by goverment which the government can like these employment, subsidies , medical and education etc. There so many things which are debateable but we should concentrate on our topic that all the fascilities is given by goverment and government is responsible for that. For all these factors is fully run by public 100 percently and the goverment is responsible for that , what should govt do to maintain there skilled worker for relate or punctual to their jobs , so they issued a pension and rtirement policy for their employs and issued that rule to all kind of private sectors as well . Thats why older one over 50 gets retirement and start reciving their pension in their golden age . Thats why they dont need to look after for the job , they can run their own business as well as younger one can does. So by this way they find their selfs comfertable then doing a 8 to 5 o'clock job.

Reason according to me about why should they dont need to do a job after thier 50 because their physical status not same as when they were young with the ambition of work but at that prime they dont need to do that according my consequences.

My grandparent was a teacher they served their for 35 years until they reach at the age of 50 but except of retirment they extentend there service five years more and got round about 50 lakhs and penshion insted . By this retirment fund they helped their childrens for expand their business and enjoy their life without of any hesitation of money .

But there is its ulternative as well , the people who get job in some fields of goverment sectors or private ones but what about other ones those cant get any job and start their own business . I found them more happy in compaired of job sectors peoples because they earn more and had flexible time of thier work . They are also get some subsidies and some tax relaxation as well .

in conclusion govt should need to do some favour for their people espacially for over ages people like 50 cross . they need to use some flexible rules to utilized them in some field like counceling or gardening or watching or giving thier asistance to younger ones in their relevant fields . By that way they never get disapointed by getting older and give their prime time experince with us .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes a relevant attempt to discuss older workers in Pakistan and offers possible measures, including retirement policies, pensions, flexible work, and using older people as counsellors or mentors. The personal example about your grandparent gives the discussion some support. However, the essay does not clearly explain the causes of the difficulty people over 50 face in getting good jobs; the point about physical ability is brief and does not directly explain employers’ hiring decisions. Much of the response instead argues that older people may prefer retirement or self-employment. The proposed measures are also not clearly connected to the problem. State a direct position, explain specific causes such as age discrimination or outdated skills, and develop practical solutions that address them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, and the example about your grandparent is separated from the discussion of self-employment. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the introduction moves from the question to government facilities and then to retirement without establishing a clear line of argument. Several ideas are repeated, particularly that older people retire, receive pensions, or may run businesses. Connect each paragraph to one main point and use clearer transitions to show how causes lead to solutions. Some linking phrases, such as “Thats why” and “But there is its ulternative,” are repeated or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts vocabulary relevant to employment and public policy, including “pension,” “retirement policy,” “subsidies,” “tax relaxation,” and “flexible time.” These choices show some awareness of the topic, and the personal example is expressed with enough detail to convey its general meaning. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are frequent, sometimes making the reader work to understand the point: “fascilities,” “reciving,” “in compaired,” and “prime time experince.” Some words are also vague or imprecise, such as “favour” and “some fields.” Build a more accurate set of employment-related expressions and check spelling and collocations so that your ideas are conveyed more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “but,” and you use past forms to describe your grandparent’s career. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries frequently make the meaning unclear. For example, “all the fascilities is given” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “they can run their own business as well as younger one can does” contains an incorrect verb form and comparison. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one subordinate clause at a time; check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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