Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

people often argued that, it can be very difficult to get good jobs at age of 50. however, this cause problem to people who need good job but certain resaons community denied to provide jobs. I believe that with relevant experience employer need to provide opportunities considering that aged people are also eligible for this role.

On the one hand, employer need to create job structure sharp and maintaing outcomes with positive criteria. this can be explained by the fact that individual member at above age they consider best knowledge and use their relevant experience to get benefits by employer. For example, coffee shop people use more in the morning however, it can be difficult to handle kitchen in the morning for aged people as they need rest their body cannot work constatly. As a result, employer need to focus more on youngsters staff who already been working in the kitchen everyone need to work as team and following this structure people who are above age of 50 get confident and motivated.

On the other hand, I strongly agree that some countries rules and regulation different from another countries and people struggle to find jobs. this is because government only works with certain policy and inspite people that it is difficult to find selective jobs. consequently, this problem has one major

solution which include companies identity and terms management. For instance, people aged between 50 to 60 government need to provide special benefits and management in terms of people use policy and get offer from companies so they can work.

In conclusion, government need to target certain types of companies and providing good salary also maintain environment monitor system of workplace well so people focus more on jobs and for old people they can work freely. also this is benefits from them directly because with this less workload they can maintain their mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your position is that older workers should receive opportunities and support. However, the causes are not clearly identified or explained: the discussion of government policies says people struggle to find jobs, but does not specify which policies create this difficulty. The coffee-shop example focuses on physical demands and rest, yet its connection to age discrimination and access to good jobs is unclear. Proposed measures—special benefits, company management, and workplace monitoring—are mentioned but not explained in enough detail to show how they would solve the problem. To strengthen the response, state specific causes, such as age bias or outdated skills, then develop practical measures that directly address each one with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the discussion. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the relationship between several ideas is unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from job structure to older workers’ experience, then to coffee-shop shifts and younger staff without clearly connecting these points. Linking expressions such as “As a result” and “consequently” are used, but the conclusions that follow do not always arise logically from the preceding statements. Plan each paragraph around one clear cause or solution, and use pronouns and transitions only where their references and logical links are explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “relevant experience,” “eligible,” “policy,” “special benefits,” and “mental health.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make the meaning hard to understand, such as “job structure sharp,” “maintaining outcomes with positive criteria,” and “companies identity and terms management.” There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “resaons,” “constatly,” and “inspite.” These issues sometimes strain the reader’s effort to interpret your ideas. Aim for precise, familiar expressions before attempting abstract combinations: for instance, describe “fair recruitment policies” or “age discrimination” directly. Check spelling and whether each word naturally combines with the words around it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “so,” and the main topic is usually recognisable. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “employer need to create,” “people aged between 50 to 60 government need to provide,” and the run-on construction beginning “For example, coffee shop people use more in the morning.” Some sentences also lack a clear subject or complete structure. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Use full stops to separate complete ideas and check articles and plural forms during revision.

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