Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is indeed true that in various developed countries the population aged over 50 find it really challenging to land a promising job despite of their previous past experiences. They are often treated as a liability on the company's expense than a young individual who is often treated as a long term asset.

There are varied causes for this pertaining issue, first and foremost is the age factor that usually works as a thorn in the pathway of an aged individual to enter the organization or secure a job because the hiring managers may feel that they should spend more time, efforts and energy to build the skillset of a younger and promising person applying for the work rather than just seeing an elderly person retiring just after few years of working in the firm irrespective of his past diligent and honest work experience showcased by him.

Another major hurdle is the surge in the level of competition in the market and more young graduates entering the workforce than elders. It has been often seen as a periodic cycle of 10 years wherein every elderly person is replaced by new individual who just graduated and have relevant technical knowhow and dexter automation computing skills they may possess early on in their careers due to rapid pace of modernization and growth in AI and relevant fields.

In order to combat to these issues volume of elder generations must update themselves with new technical automations and open themselves to learning new AI tools and models trending in the market. For instance, if a new software is introduced in the market which eases the company's backhand work procedures, then the same adult person working in the firm should be equally eager and compel to learn about that just like the younger generation working alongside with them.

Hence, in order for people to secure jobs especially after the age of 50 it is very crucial to go hand in hand and compete equally with the same perseverance and determination amongst the younger population if they want to thrive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the prompt by identifying age-related hiring bias and competition from younger graduates, then recommending that older workers update their technical skills. The position is clear, and the example of learning new workplace software helps illustrate your proposed measure. However, the causes are more fully explained than the solutions: the response mainly places responsibility on older workers and does not explore measures employers or governments could take, such as age-inclusive recruitment or retraining programmes. Some claims, including the idea that workers are replaced in a ten-year cycle, are broad and unsupported. Develop each cause with a specific explanation or example, and offer a wider, more balanced set of practical measures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining causes, a paragraph proposing a measure, and a concluding statement. Signposting such as “first and foremost,” “Another major hurdle,” and “In order to combat” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. However, some links feel mechanical, and the long second cause paragraph combines several points—competition, graduate numbers, replacement cycles, and technological change—without clearly separating them. The reference in “these issues” is also broad, while the conclusion largely repeats the recommendation rather than drawing the causes and solutions together. Use clearer topic sentences and divide or sequence related ideas more carefully to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonably varied vocabulary for the topic, including “hiring managers,” “workforce,” “technical knowhow,” “modernization,” and “perseverance and determination.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at less common expressions show ambition. However, several collocations or word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “treated as a liability on the company's expense,” “pertaining issue,” and “backhand work procedures.” There is also some unnecessary repetition, as in “previous past experiences.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than adding elaborate wording: for example, say that older workers are “seen as a cost to the company” and refer to “back-office procedures.” Proofreading for word form and spelling would also improve control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including complex explanations with subordinate clauses, and the main message is generally understandable. However, some long sentences are difficult to control, particularly the sentence beginning “first and foremost is the age factor,” which contains several linked clauses and an unclear comparison. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms: “the population aged over 50 find” needs a singular verb if “population” is the subject, and “every elderly person is replaced by new individual who just graduated and have” has inconsistent number and tense. Other patterns, such as “despite of,” show that prepositions need attention. Break long sentences into clearer units and check agreement, articles, and verb forms during revision.

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