Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many places around the world, individuals with the age of 50 or more are facing problems of getting better jobs with decent salary, even if they have worked on a good platform. Although, it can cause several issue like financial problem, various measure can be taken to address it effectively.

To commence with, it have many issues, like people over the age of 50 or at the age of 50 have the highest probality of having financial issues. If they are working on a place where they are given a low salary, will impact on their lifestyle. To elaborate, if people are unable tofind a good job, they may have a problem to improve their finance. As a result, they may face several difficulties in their daily life. Another major cause, people who are working at the age of 50, are more prone to have health and other problems like households bills. If they are paid regarding their needs, can have a negative impact on their health. They may struggle to pay their household bills on time and other essential expenses properly.

However, there are several ways to address this problem properly. Government can solve this issue by providing suitable job for the people who aged 50 and above, as they have a considerable work experience. It can help them to improve their standard of life and help their childrens in future. Moreover, they may also be able to pay for their expences despite any problems and hesitation.

In conclusion, this issue has several serious consequences, like financially unstability and unable to manage daily expences properly. However, if government deals with this matter seriously, by providing more job opportunites, so this concern can be resolved easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response is relevant to the topic and includes a basic position: the problem has serious consequences, and government job provision could help. However, it only partially answers the question because it does not clearly explain the causes of older applicants’ difficulty finding good jobs. Instead, the first body paragraph mainly describes financial hardship and health-related consequences, which are effects rather than causes. The proposed measure—providing suitable jobs—is also broad and is not explained in practical terms. For a stronger response, identify specific causes, such as age discrimination or employers’ assumptions about adaptability, then develop targeted measures and support each point with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the shift to solutions is signalled by “However.” This gives the reader a basic route through the essay. However, progression within the first body paragraph is unclear: it moves from financial problems to low salaries, difficulty improving finances, and then health and household bills, without establishing a clear cause-and-effect argument. Some linking phrases, including “To commence with” and “As a result,” are used mechanically or do not make the relationship between ideas precise. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. Organise each paragraph around one clear cause or measure, and use referencing and transitions to show how each supporting sentence connects.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The essay uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “considerable work experience,” “standard of life,” and “job opportunities,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning less clear. For example, “worked on a good platform” does not naturally express relevant employment experience, while “financially unstability” is not a correct form. There are also spelling errors such as “probality,” “expences,” and “opportunites.” Aim to use precise phrases for the causes and solutions, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More accurate collocations would make the argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentences, for example the opening sentence beginning “Although,” and conditional structures such as “If they are working…”. However, these attempts are often faulty, and many sentences contain errors in clause structure, agreement, or verb forms. In “Although, it can cause several issue,” the concessive clause is incomplete and “issue” should be plural; “it have many issues” also has incorrect subject–verb agreement. The sentence “If they are working at a place where they are given a low salary, will impact on their lifestyle” lacks a clear subject in its main clause. Use complete, controlled sentence patterns first, then add complex clauses with a clear subject and verb. Proofreading for agreement and sentence boundaries would improve accuracy.

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