Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years it becames very challenging for individuals over the age of 50 to get good jobs, even they have more experience. this essay will discuss the most important of this trand and the measures that can be taken to alleviate this issue.
to begin with, the most significant reason lead to this issue is due to aging because people more they get older the opportunities of work diminish gradually, the companies how recruit the employees they do not realy rely on physical and mental capacities of this age group. Furthermore, the companies favorise to hire youthes category rather than elederly persons becaus most jobs are physical and mental demanding. For instance, working in mining or logging require potential physical energy. Hence, compnies always favorise young people.
Although this trend brings about sveral consequences, however, various parctical solustion can be taken to mend this issue. The most effective measure to reduce as much as posssible this issue is to hire the people over the age of 50 in less physical requirement jobs. For example, affor jobs that necessit the experience rather than physical enery such as in the administrative fields or hire this people as managers in campanies becuase they have more experience than young individuals. by doing this this people over 50 years can benefit from the jobe and also the bisunesses can enhance the quality of their servicises
in coclusion, although this trend has execrbated in contemporary life work, however by implementing thes practical solution the issue would dimnish drastically
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You address both causes and possible measures, and your position is generally understandable: you link age with reduced opportunities and employers’ preference for younger applicants, then suggest placing older workers in less physically demanding roles. However, the response is short of the required minimum: it contains 244 words, six fewer than the 250-word requirement, and nine words copied from the prompt were not counted. This limits the space available to develop your ideas. The cause is also explained rather generally, while the proposed measure needs clearer detail about how employers could create or offer suitable roles. The examples of mining, logging and management are relevant, but explain more fully why these examples support your argument and add a second practical measure, such as retraining or age-discrimination protections.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your answer. You also use linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “For instance” and “In conclusion.” However, some connections are mechanical or confusing. For example, “Although this trend brings about several consequences, however” combines two contrasting signals, and the solutions paragraph moves from job types to benefits without a clear step-by-step explanation. The conclusion repeats the contrast rather than neatly summarising the main cause and measures. Use one connector where appropriate, and organise each body paragraph around a clear main idea followed by explanation and an example.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “opportunities,” “physical energy,” “administrative fields” and “enhance the quality of their services.” These choices show an effort to discuss employment and workplace needs rather than relying only on basic words. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “trend,” “youthes category,” “less physical requirement jobs” and “practical solution.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “physical and mental capacities” does not clearly explain why employers prefer younger applicants. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships, for example “physically demanding jobs” and “older workers.” More precise vocabulary would make your cause-and-solution discussion clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a conditional-style explanation with “by doing this.” This gives you a basis for expressing causes and consequences. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, sentence boundaries, agreement and articles occur frequently enough to make some ideas hard to follow. For example, “the most significant reason lead to this issue is due to aging” has an unclear grammatical structure, while “working in mining or logging require” has a subject–verb agreement error. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the lowercase start “this essay.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached supporting clause, then check verb agreement and sentence boundaries.
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