Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
NOWADAYS, IN MANY COUNTRIES ESPECIALLY IN DEVELOPED NATIONS, OVER THE AGE OF 50 OR SENIOR CITIZENS, WHO HAS SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE, THUS IT CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO GET PROMINENT JOB OPPORTUNITIES. THIS ESSAY WILL DEMONSTRATE THE UNDERLYING FORCES AND ACTION REGARDING TO TACKLE THIS PROBLEM.
ONE OF THE PRIMARY CAUSE OF THIS PROBLEM IS THAT REVOLUTIONARY ADVANCE IN THE FIELD OF TECHNOLOGY AND AUTOMATION IN ALL INDUSTRY. SEVERAL FIELD RUNS THROUGH NEW FEATURES AND INNOVATIONS. TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, COMPANIES DEMAND NEW AND PRODUCTIVE BRAINS AND HUMAN-RESOURCES FOR CRUCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS AS WELL AS BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF NEW TRENDS. DURING THE PAST TIME SKILLS OUTWEIGHT THE QUALIFICATIONS, WHILST IN MODERN ERA, SUFFICIENT KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MAINSTREAM AND DURABLE MAY INCREASE ECONOMICAL AND SOCIAL BENEFITS FOR BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND SOCIETY. MOREOVER, PRODUCTION HOUSES AND AT THE TIME OF DEPLOYMENT, PEOPLE NEED TO SPEND EXTRA HOURS AND PHYSICAL EFFORTS TO COMPLET PARTICULAR TASK. FURTHERMORE, OVER THE AGE OF 50 OR RETIRED PEOPLE HAVE VAST AMOUNT OF EXPERIENCE REGARDING PROBLEM SOLVING, MANAGEMENT AND SOCIAL SKILLS SUCH AS COMMUNICATION AND DECISION-MAKING. HOWEVER, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF ADVANCE FACILITES AND PHYSICAL AND PYSCHOLOGICAL HEALTH BUILD BARRIER TO GET SIGNIFICANT JOBS.
TO TAKLE THIS ISSUES, ONE EFFECTIVE SOLUTION WOULD BE TO GIVE PROMINENT AND BENEFICIAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE NEW TECHNOLOGY. IN OTHER WORDS, ORGANISATIONS CAN OFFERS OFFICE BASED AND MANAGEMENT, DECISION-MAKING JOB ROLES FOR ELDER PEOPLE. ADDTIONALLY, NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES NEED SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE COMPUTER AND ROBOTICS BECAUSE IT MAY HELP YOU TO REDUCE WORKLOAD. CONSEQUENTLY, GOVERNMENT AND COMPANIES CAN INTRODUCE NEW LEARNING COURSES FOR THEM. SECONDLY, FLEXIBLE WORKING HOURS AND ACTIVE MINDSET ACTIVITES MAY BE GIVE SOME MERIT AND BENEFITS FOR SOLVE THIS PHENOMENON. FOR INSTANCE, MULTINATIONAL TECH FIRM OFFERS WORK FROM HOME FACILITES AS WELL AS ONLINE LEARNING FEATURES.
IN CONCLUSION, IN THIS COMEPETITIVENESS ERA, GETTING A PROMINENT JOB DEMAND INTERPERSONAL UNIQUE SKILLS FOR ALL INDIVIDUALS. HENCE, IT DIFFICULT TO FIND A BETTER JOB FOR OLDER PEOPLE. HOWEVER, SOCIETY AND INDIVIDUALS CAN SOLVE THIS AGREEMENT.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both parts of the question by identifying causes and proposing measures, and your overall position—that older people face barriers but can be supported—is apparent. Relevant causes include rapid technological change, employers’ preference for current skills, and possible health limitations; your proposed training courses and flexible work also respond to the problem. However, some points are not fully explained or are difficult to interpret. For example, the discussion of “new and productive brains” does not clearly show why employers favour younger applicants, while the reference to extra hours and physical effort needs a clearer link to age discrimination. Develop each cause and solution with a specific explanation or example, and make the conclusion state more directly how the measures address the causes.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Moreover,” “To tackle this issue,” and “Secondly” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, connections between some ideas are unclear, and linking words sometimes make the progression feel mechanical. In the causes paragraph, the shift from technology to physical effort and then to older workers’ strengths is not clearly explained. References such as “this phenomenon” and “this agreement” also do not identify the problem precisely. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, group related ideas together, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “automation,” “problem-solving skills,” “decision-making,” and “flexible working hours.” These choices show an effort to discuss employment and workplace change beyond basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling often make the meaning unclear or unnatural. Phrases such as “prominent job opportunities,” “durable,” “production houses,” and “solve this agreement” do not express the intended ideas precisely; “facilities” and “activities” are also misspelled. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording, and check spelling carefully. Reusing clear terms such as “suitable jobs,” “digital skills,” and “employment barriers” would make your argument easier to follow.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “as well as,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “One of the primary cause” needs a plural noun, “Several field runs” has agreement errors, and “organisations can offers” uses the wrong verb form. The opening sentence is also difficult to parse because its clauses are joined without a clear grammatical relationship. Work on building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and verb forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas much clearer.
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