Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

well this is very intresting an good topic to talk about the difficulties people face for job over the age of 50. whereas they have good experience and more intrust than youngers.

It happen in fairly countries such as Pakistan, India, Nepal and many more countries. In our country youngers get good jobs with low experience and unmatured brain whereas people over the age of 50 have good experience and they know how to managed all of them have no jobs. The main reason is corrupt younger who have good background give money and got a good job and the people over the age of 50 donot want to do corrupt that is the reason why they do not get good job.

Another cause of this problem is that people over the age of 50 have not good mental and physical health not every one disease with this but fairly 50 percent people are diseased. These are the main reason why people cant get good job over the age of 50.

I think government should think about those people who have good mental and physical health beacuse everyone could not disease with this problem. if we want good nation than we need to end the corrupt and give good jobs to experience peoples who work hard for their job and want to do some work for nation. I think if we solve this problem of not gives a job over the age of 50 our nation will progress better than before.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying corruption and possible health limitations as causes, then recommending government action and fairer hiring. Your position—that experienced, capable older people should have better access to jobs—is understandable. However, the causes and solutions are only partly developed. For example, you say younger applicants with influential backgrounds pay for jobs, but do not explain how this practice disadvantages older candidates or provide a specific example. The health point is also broad, and the proposed measures remain general: “end the corrupt” and give jobs to experienced people. Explain practical steps, such as transparent recruitment, anti-bribery enforcement, or age-discrimination protections, and show how they would address the causes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two paragraphs discussing causes, and a final paragraph offering solutions. This helps the reader identify the main sections of your answer. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and links between ideas are often mechanical or imprecise. For instance, “Another cause” signals a new point, but the discussion of health does not connect clearly to the earlier claim about corruption. The final paragraph combines government responsibility, health, corruption, and national progress without a clear sequence. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s focus, then explain and illustrate one main idea before moving to the next. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who “they” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “experience,” “corrupt,” “mental and physical health,” and “good jobs,” so the general subject is clear. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “good job” and “people over the age of 50.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “intrest,” “intrust,” “youngers,” and “diseased,” which can make the meaning difficult to interpret. Some expressions are not natural in this context, including “unmatured brain” and “end the corrupt.” Build a more precise set of employment-related terms and check spelling and collocations; this will help you express the causes and proposed policies more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrast with “whereas” and a conditional idea beginning “if we solve this problem.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “It happen” needs a correctly inflected verb, while “they know how to managed” uses the wrong form after “to.” The sentence “not every one disease with this” is difficult to understand because its structure and verb pattern are faulty. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention, especially where several ideas run together. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each verb against its subject.

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