Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years, people believe that it is very difficult to get good jobs for people over the age of 50 years in some countires. In my point of view that its difficult to find jobs for people(aged of over 50 years) because they are week and cannot do much work due to their health issues.

First of all, most of the people( aged of over 50 years) are week due to the lack of exercise. In other words, many people do not want to do exercise like running, pushups and also walk as well. For example, In todays world most of the people are lazy they do not want to invest their free time on health and they waste it, after some time they lost their strength time to time.

On the other hand, people do not invest their money on their diet plan, they just spend their money on home expenditure and billing as well. Therefore, their bodies cannot stable their hormones power and other vitamin levels as well and become weeker day by day. For example, a person who spent their whole time on his own job and earn a handsome amount of money but he does not focus his his health vivs dietplan, he come to home and just take his own meal, even for some time he skip his food and go for rest.

In conclusion, from my daily observation and experience that people over the age of 50 years are reckless and they do not focus on their health and diet routine as but they are much responsible than younger for their homes. If they maintain their fittness and diet, they can get jobs easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response gives a clear view that health and fitness affect older people’s job prospects, and it offers examples about exercise and diet. However, it addresses the task only minimally because it does not explain the main causes of age-related difficulty in getting good jobs, such as employer bias, outdated skills, or competition with younger applicants. More importantly, the question asks for measures to solve the problem, but the essay proposes no practical action by employers, governments, or older workers. The conclusion merely says people can get jobs if they maintain their fitness and diet, which does not adequately answer this part. To develop the response, explain relevant causes and give specific, realistic measures, supported by examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a basic structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs are generally focused on health, and signposts such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help show the intended organisation. However, the progression is limited: both body paragraphs repeat the idea that older people are weak because they neglect exercise or diet, and the second paragraph does not introduce a distinct cause or solution. Some links are also unclear, particularly the movement from spending on household bills to hormone and vitamin levels. Build a clearer sequence by assigning each paragraph a separate task point and using references and transitions that show how each example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the central topic, with relevant terms such as “health issues,” “exercise,” “diet plan,” and “vitamin levels.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, especially in the repeated use of “people,” “health,” and “money.” Several word choices or collocations are inaccurate and make parts difficult to understand: “week” appears to mean “weak,” “their bodies cannot stable their hormones power” is unclear, and “home expenditure and billing” is not a natural way to describe household costs. Spelling errors such as “countires,” “weaker,” and “fittness” also reduce control. Aim for precise employment-related vocabulary, for example “age discrimination,” “retraining,” and “workplace flexibility,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts to connect ideas through clauses, as in “because they are…” and “but he does not focus…”. Meaning is often recoverable, but frequent errors and faulty complex constructions sometimes make the message difficult to follow. For example, “In my point of view that its difficult” has an incomplete structure, while “a person who spent their whole time… he come to home” shifts between pronouns and has incorrect verb forms. The conclusion also begins with the fragment “from my daily observation and experience that…”. Practise complete sentence patterns, consistent subject–verb agreement, and accurate verb forms; then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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