Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some countries, it is hard for middle-aged people above 50 to get good employment opportunities in spite of their years in job engagements. There are several causes of this impasse and possible solutions to the predicament exist.

Firstly, some companies view middle aged employees as lacking in their energy batteries. A school I worked in previously went as far as capping the maximum age for new hires at 45, giving the explanation that the role needed agile young people. While this argument for high energy individuals made sense, I disputed age as being the only metric for energy since there are many factors such as poor lifestyle choices, diet, physical conditioning et ectera, that can make even young people not a good match energy-wise in high paced environments.

In addition, highly experienced employees in this age bracket tend to be expensive hires. This comes from their many years of experience hence earning their 'expert' tag. Some companies cut costs, in this regard, by hiring new recruits who are in their early-career years. Other companies try to strike a balance between experienced, middle-aged employees and green-horns, hence maximizing on their value for money while not overshooting their budget.

While these challenges abound, measures that could be taken to alleviate these challenges is to use actual checks for fitness, and classifying job into commensurate salary grade-scales, instead of assuming people over 50 are out of shape and can't keep up with high paced jobs. This would avoid automatically locking out physically-fit, potential hires who will also give return on investment because not only are they bringing their invaluable experience but also a matching powerful set of lungs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear focus on why older applicants may struggle and how hiring could be made fairer. The two causes—employers’ assumptions about energy and the higher cost of experienced staff—are relevant, and the school example gives the first point a useful concrete basis. Your proposed fitness checks and salary grading also respond directly to the problem. However, the solutions are less fully developed than the causes: explain how employers or governments would introduce these checks and pay structures, and how this would change recruitment decisions. The cost argument would also benefit from a more explicit link to age discrimination and a practical measure addressing it. This keeps the response from developing every part of the task equally fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining causes, and a final paragraph proposing measures. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “While these challenges abound” help readers follow the argument, and the school example is placed appropriately within the first cause. The main limitation is that the final paragraph combines several ideas—fitness checks, salary scales, exclusion, and return on investment—without fully separating or explaining their relationships. Some links are also a little abrupt, particularly the move from companies’ cost concerns to the proposed salary grades. To strengthen progression, give each measure a clear explanation and connect it explicitly to the cause it is intended to address.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably varied vocabulary and attempt less common expressions, including “predicament,” “alleviate,” “commensurate,” and “return on investment.” These choices show ambition and generally allow your meaning to be understood. However, some phrases are imprecise or too informal for an academic essay: “energy batteries” and “powerful set of lungs” sound conversational or figurative, while “green-horns” is not the most suitable term in this context. There are also awkward collocations such as “job engagements” and “maximizing on their value for money.” Aim for precise, natural combinations that express the same ideas directly, such as employers’ concerns about stamina or the cost of experienced staff. This would make your range more controlled and appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “since there are many factors…” and the contrast introduced by “While these challenges abound.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions persist, however. For example, “measures … is to use” has a subject–verb agreement problem; “classifying job into commensurate salary grade-scales” has issues with the article and plural form; and “not only are they bringing … but also a matching…” is not fully parallel in structure. The long final sentence also makes the relationships between clauses harder to control. Review agreement, articles, plurals, and parallel constructions, and divide complex ideas where needed.

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