Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, people after age of fifty get hardship in finding jobs has become a growing concerns in many parts of the world. This essay will examine the main problems associated with this issues and suggest several practical measues to address them.

One of the most significant problems associated with hardship of seeking employement after age of fifty, despite of experience because they have not in good condition of mental and physical well-being. This largely because many elder people are suffered from physically and mentally, which subsequently lead to lower their productivity and make them uneffective. For instance, some elder people possess illness regarding heart issues, sleep deprivation and depression have decreased their effeciency which clearly illustrates this issues. Another major concern is lower our economic growth, which can have a detrimental impact on our economic society. Therefore, addressing this issue is essential to prevent further negative consequences.

To tackle these issue, several practical measures can be implemented. Firstly, if government provide financial incentives to companies for hiring a elder people could help them to find a better conditions jobs in companies. Furthermore, government should be implemented a policy reagrding age- appropriate recruitment address the underlying causes of the problem. For example, government could encourage elder generation joined the jobs according to their age and good working condition rather than hazardous job such as fireextinguisger, army man and working in construction site. Such measure would not only care of their health benefits but also contribute to a more sustainable and effective long-term solution.

In conclusion, hardship of finding jobs can create several problems for elder generation, but these can be addressed through appropriate measures. By implementing, age- appropraiate hiring and providing financial support to companies for recruitment of older generation, the negative consequences can be significantly reduced in the long run. If government and individual work together, long-term improvements are likely to be achieved.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by proposing a cause—older workers’ health—and measures such as hiring incentives and age-appropriate recruitment. The examples of heart problems, depression and hazardous work make the discussion relevant. However, the response only partially explains why people over 50 struggle to obtain good jobs: health is presented as the main cause, while other likely factors, such as employer bias, outdated skills or competition, are not explored. The claim that this situation lowers economic growth is also asserted rather than explained. Your solutions are relevant, but the policy proposal and the distinction between suitable and hazardous jobs need clearer development and support. A more explicit explanation of how each measure addresses a stated cause would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on measures and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Another major concern is lower our economic growth” does not clearly connect the employment problem to its economic effect, and “these issue” has an unclear reference. The cause paragraph also moves from health to economic growth without explaining the relationship. Grouping each cause with its explanation and example, then matching each solution to a cause, would strengthen progression. Use referencing and transitions to clarify relationships rather than relying mainly on formulaic signposts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “financial incentives,” “recruitment,” “productivity” and “detrimental impact,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited by repeated or inaccurate expressions, and several word-choice and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “hardship of seeking employement,” “uneffective,” “effeciency” and “fireextinguisger.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “good conditions jobs” and “elder generation.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. You could use more precise terms for the causes and solutions, such as age discrimination, workplace adjustments and suitable roles, while avoiding repeated use of “elder” and “issue.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “which subsequently lead to lower their productivity” and the conditional sentence beginning “if government provide financial incentives.” However, these attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “people after age of fifty get hardship … has become” does not form a clear grammatical sentence, while “government should be implemented a policy” uses an incorrect verb pattern. There are also problems with plural and article use, as in “a elder people.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “which” and “if.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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