Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries across the world. Finding good jobs are very difficult for the people over the age of 50. Beside there experience. Since old people are less efficient for work compare to younge people.

From my perspective, most of the companys or bussiness require strong and young workers for stronge workforce and the people over 50 don't complete the requirement of the companys. Since, people over 50 don't has the strenght and fouce that a good paying jobs requires. For example a transport company need to transport goods on daily base so they need strong workforce to first load. Furthermore, then drive the truck for hours without any rest and without lossing focus. Old people don't have both abilities they are week and less focus. Like this there are more good paying jobs which require abilities that a old person can't fulfill.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify one possible cause: employers may prefer younger workers for physically demanding roles, and the transport example helps illustrate this. However, the response addresses only the causes part of the question; it gives no measures to improve older people’s access to good jobs. The explanation is also narrow and relies on broad claims such as older workers being “less efficient” and unable to maintain focus, without considering other causes or supporting these claims with evidence. The response is substantially below the required 250 words, which limits the opportunity to develop relevant ideas. To strengthen the response, discuss several causes, propose practical measures such as retraining or age-discrimination protections, and explain how each would help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the issue, and the next paragraph gives a cause and an example. The transport-company example is relevant to the point about physical demands. However, the response stops before establishing a complete progression, particularly because it does not move on to solutions. Some linking is awkward or mechanical: “Since” begins a sentence fragment, while “Furthermore, then drive the truck” does not connect smoothly to the preceding idea. The final sentence repeats the claim that older people cannot meet job requirements rather than drawing the discussion together. Use clear paragraphs for causes and measures, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on words such as “good,” “strong,” “old,” and “jobs.” Some wording communicates the intended topic, including “workforce” and “requirement,” but several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear or natural: “companys,” “bussiness,” “stronge,” “strenght,” and “week” (apparently intended as “weak”). Phrases such as “strong workforce” and “good paying jobs” are repeated without much precision. Build a wider range of accurate terms for the topic, such as “experienced applicants,” “physically demanding roles,” and “age discrimination,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with limited control of more complex sentence forms. Errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “Finding good jobs are very difficult” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “people over 50 don't has” uses an incorrect verb form. “Since old people are less efficient…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence, while “a transport company need” has incorrect agreement. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “a old person” and “a good paying jobs.” Practise complete sentences, subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms; then combine related ideas using accurate subordinate clauses.

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