Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These days, it is generally difficult for older people above the age of 50 in different countries although they have good expirence in there field. This can have both problem and solution in this essay. I will attempt to point out some difficultie and a few solutation aspects of this age and job related.

On the one hand, one of the drawbacks of this is that growing age decrease the energy capacity. The work places required more faster and hard working employes which cannot be found in 50 plus individuals. For instance, my father work in the bank as a manager from the age of 28. In that time he had rewared as the best employe award but today he is 55 years old and he didnot work as before. Furthermore, it should also be noted that now his all will power has gone beacuse of his age.

On the other hand, one of the merits of this is that old ages people have more expirence rather than the young one. It can be greatly benefical to individuals and the society. For example, my own father is now at the age of 55 although he is older among all the staff members. Similary, all of them asked helps form him because of his expirence. Therefore, the 55 years old employes has more working knowledge in comperasion of young staffs.

In conclusion, with the evidence demonstrated so far, I would present the fact by starting that age is just the number whereas both the age below 50 or above 50 have equall importance in their own field. So, it has both merits and demerits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and gives a relevant possible cause: employers may believe that older workers have less energy. It also includes an example about the writer’s father and acknowledges the value of his experience. However, the task asks for both causes and measures, and no practical measures are proposed. The discussion instead shifts to the advantages and disadvantages of older workers, so a major part of the question is left unanswered. The position is also unclear: the conclusion says age is “just the number” but does not explain how the problem should be addressed. To improve, identify several causes and develop specific solutions, such as age-discrimination rules, retraining, or flexible roles, explaining how each would help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, the overall progression is weakened because the body paragraphs discuss drawbacks and merits rather than systematically answering the causes-and-measures question. The opening sentence of the second body paragraph, “one of the merits of this,” is also unclear about what “this” refers to, and the conclusion repeats the merits-and-demerits framing instead of drawing the argument together. Plan paragraphs around the task’s two parts, use clear topic sentences, and ensure each example directly supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “energy capacity,” “work places,” “staff members,” and “working knowledge.” Some choices show an attempt to express relevant ideas, but vocabulary is often repetitive or inaccurate, which can make meaning less clear. Examples include “solutation aspects,” “old ages people,” and “all will power has gone”; these are not natural expressions in this context. Spelling errors such as “expirence,” “employes,” and “comperasion” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for employment and age discrimination, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe employers’ assumptions about productivity rather than saying older workers have less “energy capacity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a relative clause in “individuals, which cannot be found…” and a contrast clause beginning “although.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur regularly. For example, “growing age decrease” needs subject–verb agreement, while “my father work” and “he didnot work” use incorrect verb forms. The sentence “Furthermore, it should also be noted that now his all will power has gone” has an awkward grammatical structure that obscures the intended meaning. Practise accurate past and present forms, singular/plural agreement, and clear clause construction. Shorter, controlled sentences would help communicate the ideas more reliably.

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