Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It's quite the truth regarding certain instances of cruelty that is usually disposed over the elderly.

One of the first things that comes to mind, even before I mention circumstances related to health crisis, I would say it's due to the indubitable rule of retirement.

In some if not most countries, the rule is more like a culture which is indeed religiously followed. Younger people with newer skills and ideas are likely more considered than an elderly with much experience. The benefits of a youthful, energetic candidate is often able to overshadow the venerable intellectuality of a senior citizen. On the other hand, the undeniable action of deliberately choosing an older person with a bright mind but a heavy body (closer to retirement) is a factor most companies would like to pass on. This is where the ethical policies come forth.

The morality of human kind even in proffesional settings is one of the initial aspects which make them reluctant in putting faith in someone above 50. However, it's undeniably unjust to premuse a person would be incapable of providing their full potential in their best field. Acknowledging their virtue is just as vital as anything.

There could be possible ways to reduce this inequity in job sectors. For instance, older people can be recruited to pass on their skills to the ones who are just beginning. They could help in an analytical sense and provide informations unknown. Moreover, the government should take a step forward and design communal work for them to enhance engagement, understanding as well as reduce the unbearable sense of longing within them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify relevant causes, particularly retirement expectations and employers’ preference for younger candidates, and you suggest two measures: recruiting older workers to transfer skills and creating government-supported work. However, the response only partially develops the task. The causes are discussed in broad terms, and the proposed measures are not explained in enough detail to show how they would improve access to good jobs. The opening reference to “cruelty” and health crises is not followed through, while the position on the issue remains somewhat implicit. To strengthen the response, explain specific employer concerns and connect each solution directly to them—for example, anti-age-discrimination enforcement or retraining programmes, with a brief illustration of their likely impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to causes, ethical concerns and possible solutions. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Moreover” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear: the opening mentions health crises, but the discussion shifts to retirement without explaining the connection, and the paragraph about morality repeats the concern about unfair treatment rather than advancing the argument. Some linking phrases feel mechanical or do not express the relationship precisely. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one clear purpose, using topic sentences, and linking each proposed measure explicitly to a cause already discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of formal and less common vocabulary, including “venerable,” “intellectuality,” “inequity” and “engagement.” This shows ambition, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “cruelty that is usually disposed over the elderly” does not clearly express discrimination, and “a heavy body” is an unsuitable way to describe an older candidate. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “proffesional,” “premuse” and “informations.” Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than ornate wording: terms such as “age discrimination,” “experienced workers” and “transfer their expertise” would communicate your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “Younger people with newer skills and ideas are likely more considered than an elderly with much experience.” However, control is uneven, and some sentence structures make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. The opening sentence is awkwardly constructed, while “The benefits of a youthful, energetic candidate is often able” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “older people can be recruited to pass on their skills to the ones who are just beginning,” the reference is understandable but the sentence pattern is not fully controlled. Work on building clear subject–verb structures, checking agreement and articles, and proofreading punctuation. Prefer a direct sentence when a more elaborate construction becomes difficult to manage.

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