Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, people from several countries who are over the age of 50 find it difficult to aquire jobs despite the enormous experience they have under their belt. This issue can be attributed to a number of reasons; one major reason is the preference of young individuals and freshers over highly experienced people in the same field. This can be solved by opening vacancies for jobs which are experience specific.

The important reason in why most experienced personnel struggle to find new jobs is due to the shift in trend towards the acquisition of freshers and early-career individuals. Companies believe that young people can bring a breath of fresh air to the company with their innovative ideas and flexible work-force, firms usually recruit people who either just finished their education or working in the field with less than or equal to 3 years of experience. Moreover, hiring recent graduates are believed to reduce labour costs inside the company because less experienced people are easily negotiable, thus providing a lesser salary to the employees than the estimated values, which is not possible in the case of an experienced person. As a result, people with high expertise in a field are neglected during the hiring process.

This issue can be tackled by increasing vacancies for roles which need a high amount of expertise. Jobs such as professional consulting and some higher management roles needs a level of proficiancy in the particular sector to get work done smoothly, which can prove demanding for newcomers. For example, an unexperienced person with only 3 years of work experience will be unable to handle a high pressure job like senior managment or consultation roles.

In conclusion, the major reason for the difficulty of experienced people in finding jobs is due to the switch in the preference of people hired to freshers and newcomers. This can be solved by increasing the number of jobs in which people with expertise are required.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: employers’ preference for younger recruits is presented as the main cause, and creating more roles requiring expertise is proposed as a solution. The explanation of cost is relevant and gives the cause some development, while the examples of consulting and senior management help illustrate why experience matters. However, the response focuses almost entirely on one cause and one broad measure. The proposed solution would be more convincing if you explained how governments or employers could create or protect these opportunities, and you could consider another cause, such as age discrimination or outdated skills. Some ideas are therefore relevant but less fully developed than others. **To improve:** extend the solution with practical steps and explain their likely impact on older applicants’ access to good jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining the cause, a paragraph proposing a measure, and a conclusion. The progression from employers’ preference for younger workers to the suggested need for expertise-based vacancies is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing together the argument. Some connections could also be made more explicit—for example, how the cost advantage described in the cause relates to the proposed solution. **To improve:** use more varied transitions and develop clearer links between each explanation, example, and recommendation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “acquisition,” “innovative ideas,” “labour costs,” “expertise,” and “high pressure.” These choices allow you to explain recruitment preferences and the value of experience. There are also attempts at less common or formal expressions, although some are inaccurate or unnatural: “freshers” is informal in this context, “experience specific” is awkward, and “less experienced people are easily negotiable” does not clearly express that they can be hired for lower salaries. Spelling errors such as “aquire,” “proficiany,” and “managment” also reduce accuracy. **To improve:** prioritise precise, natural collocations and check spelling, especially in key topic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “despite.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and the longer sentences help explain cause and effect. Some grammatical errors occur, however. For example, “hiring recent graduates are believed” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “roles needs” should use a plural verb. In “the major reason … is due to,” the sentence structure is awkward, and the comma splice in “ideas and flexible work-force, firms usually recruit” joins two independent clauses incorrectly. **To improve:** check agreement and sentence boundaries, and revise long sentences so that each clause is connected accurately. This will make your complex structures more controlled.

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