Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

not physically fit > not healthy diet > results in performance

cognitive decline. mood issues> vague memory weak

long working hours > not able to sustain > needs constant walking and sitting which is difficult for aged people

encourage > better enviroment > repevct them

goverment should employ thier skilss to train freshers

vacancies for aged people> companies , government

Nowadays, with the rapid development of society,finding dream job at the age of 50 becomes has become one of the most widely discussed issues around the world. This issue has created several challenges, such as ______ and ______, which can negatively affect individuals and society. This essay will discuss the major causes associated with this issue and suggest some effective solutions to overcome these challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response shows awareness of the topic and includes potentially relevant notes, such as physical fitness, cognitive changes, long working hours, and employers using older workers’ skills to train new staff. However, these points are mostly fragments rather than explained arguments, and the essay does not clearly develop both the causes and the measures requested. The introduction promises to discuss causes and solutions but leaves “______ and ______” blank, and there is no clear position or supporting example. The response is also substantially below the required length, so the task is addressed only minimally. To improve, explain how each cause affects hiring, then develop practical measures—such as retraining, flexible work, or age-discrimination policies—with a relevant example for each.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the notes first mention possible causes and then possible solutions, followed by an introductory paragraph that signals the essay’s intended structure. However, the ideas are not connected into a clear progression, and the notes are difficult to follow because they use arrows and incomplete phrases, for example, “cognitive decline. mood issues> vague memory weak.” The introduction’s blank spaces also interrupt the flow and leave the reader unsure what the essay will argue. Use separate, fully developed paragraphs for causes and measures, and connect each point with clear relationships such as cause, consequence, and response. This would create a coherent overall arrangement rather than a collection of disconnected ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response includes some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “cognitive decline,” “performance,” “long working hours,” “train freshers,” and “vacancies.” These show an attempt to discuss employment and age-related challenges, but the range is limited and several expressions are unclear or unsuitable for formal academic writing. For instance, “freshers” is not the most natural term for new employees, while “better enviroment” and “repevct them” contain spelling errors that make the intended wording harder to understand. The notes also rely on basic phrases rather than precise explanations. Build a more formal vocabulary for workplace issues and use accurate collocations, such as “workplace adjustments,” “transfer expertise,” and “age discrimination,” while checking spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The introduction attempts a complex sentence with “such as …, which can negatively affect individuals and society,” and the final sentence uses a future-oriented structure to introduce the essay’s purpose. However, grammatical control is uneven, and the response contains many fragments rather than complete sentences, including “not physically fit > not healthy diet > results in performance” and “vacancies for aged people> companies, government.” The opening also has a faulty verb construction in “finding dream job at the age of 50 becomes has become,” and “society,finding” lacks appropriate punctuation. These problems make relationships between ideas unclear. Write complete subject–verb sentences, check verb forms and articles, and use punctuation to separate clauses. Practising accurate simple sentences before adding complex structures will improve clarity.

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