Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given scenario raises a very important issue that's present globally. While many countries have increased the working age till 65, there are still many parts of the world where 50 is considered old.

I have observed that in many parts of the world people do not invest a lot in their physical well-being, which ultimately affects their performance as they age. Unlike the popular belief that physical and mental health do not depend on eachother, studies show that both are highly linked together. The lack of physical well-being affects cognitive abilities, hence affecting the performance.

Apart from this, as people age, they grow grumpier and it gets difficult if they don't have a habit of meditating and regulating their nervous systems. The lack of healthy lifestyles and accessibility to support groups for elderly people are the primary causes of making them an unreliable candidate to work, despite having extensive experience.

As per my knowledge and observation, inclusivity and changing the lifestyle habits can help people overcome their declining health; which is one of the prominent reasons for organisations to have strict age policies. A less, more important cause that companies have these policies is because they genuinely want new generations to work, which cannot happen if people keep on working till their mid or late 60s.

To overcome this, countries can have paid internship programs and global opportunities to prepare young individuals to step into the field. This will help countries overcome the fear of young talents leaving the country, while keeping the opportunities open for all age groups,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several possible causes, including declining health, employers’ age policies, and companies’ preference for younger workers, and you propose paid internships and international opportunities as measures. However, the response only partially answers the question: the discussion focuses heavily on older people’s health and does not explain clearly how this makes it difficult for them to obtain good jobs despite their experience. The proposed measures mainly prepare young people and do not directly address age discrimination or help experienced older applicants secure work. Some claims, such as older people becoming “grumpier,” are broad and unsupported. Develop a clear position, explain the causes in relation to hiring, and give practical measures aimed at employers and older workers.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable paragraph structure, and phrases such as “Apart from this” and “To overcome this” signal a shift between ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear: the discussion moves from physical health to mood, then to age policies and young workers, without fully connecting these points to the central problem of finding good jobs. The final paragraph also ends with a comma, leaving the conclusion incomplete. Some linking is mechanical, and the reference in “To overcome this” is broad rather than clearly tied to a specific cause. Organise the essay around distinct causes and matching solutions, and use clearer transitions to show how each point supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “cognitive abilities,” “inclusivity,” “extensive experience,” and “age policies.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning is generally clear. There are, however, some imprecise or unnatural expressions, such as “working age till 65,” “a less, more important cause,” and “prepare young individuals to step into the field.” The phrase “grumpier” is also informal and overgeneralises about older people. Aim for more precise employment-related language and natural collocations, such as describing age-based hiring practices or updating professional skills. Check spelling and word forms too: “eachother” should be “each other.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which ultimately affects their performance” and a conditional structure in “if they don't have a habit of meditating.” Most sentences remain understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. Some grammatical and punctuation problems remain. For example, “the working age till 65” is not a well-formed construction, and the semicolon in “changing the lifestyle habits can help people overcome their declining health; which is…” incorrectly separates the clause. The final sentence is also incomplete, ending with a comma. Review clause boundaries, sentence endings, and article use, while continuing to practise varied complex structures.

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