Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is very hard for aged people, more than 50, to get better job in some countries.Althogh they have a lot of experience.

According to my point of view, there are many causes of this issue.First of all the main reason behind this problem is the requirement of new and fresh knowledge.Most of the companies prefer young people who come with latest degrees and knowledge. According to them, new generation can understand and solve the modern problems easily and in better way as compared to elderly ones. For instance, in the era of technology and artificial intelligence a fresher is the only one who can deal with technical problems of modern life. So, only a person with new knowlede is hired in software engineering department, who can solve the AI or new technology related issues efficiently.

The another reason of not geting good job is demand of high salary these. A person who has spent more than 25 years of his/her life to get experience in skilles, will demand a better salary pacakage. He/She wants to be paid higher as compared to the one who is totaly unexperienced. For example, a retired army officers definetly demands a handsom package in Pakistan to hold the disciplinary issues of a college. And he is paid also according to his will.On the other way a newly hired principal with no experience is not considered because he have not spent even a little time to tackle the students issues.

In my opinion there should be departments in all countries, where elderly people should be taught the new skills to cope with modern problems.Secondly, experienced people must be told to join the clubs or institues where they will teach the new ones with their experience.In this way both categories will get equal opportunities to get good jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you identify employers’ preference for up-to-date knowledge and concerns about higher salary expectations, then suggest skills training and mentoring roles for experienced workers. Your position is clear, and the examples about technology and a retired army officer help make the causes concrete. However, some points are not fully explained or are unclear. For instance, the claim that a fresher is “the only one” able to handle modern technical problems is too absolute and needs qualification. The salary example also does not clearly show how salary expectations prevent older applicants from getting jobs. Explain how each cause operates and connect each proposed measure directly to it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining causes, and a final paragraph proposing measures. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “The another reason,” and “Secondly” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. The example about the retired army officer shifts from salary expectations to his suitability for handling student discipline without clearly explaining the connection. The final paragraph also introduces two measures quickly, with little explanation of how they would work. Use clearer topic sentences and develop each point before moving to its example or consequence; vary linking expressions and make references such as “both categories” more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “experience,” “latest degrees,” “salary package,” “modern problems,” and “equal opportunities.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “better job,” “fresh knowledge,” “demand of high salary,” and “hold the disciplinary issues.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “Althogh,” “knowlede,” “pacakage,” and “institues.” Aim for more precise employment-related language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe employers’ preference for “up-to-date skills” and say that an experienced applicant may “expect a higher salary,” rather than using less natural combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons and relative clauses, as in “A person who has spent more than 25 years…” and “where they will teach the new ones…”. However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation. The opening fragment, “Although they have a lot of experience,” is not joined to a complete sentence. Other examples include “The another reason,” “he have not spent,” and missing spaces after full stops. Some sentences also run together, which makes the relationships between ideas less clear. Practise building complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries; then vary clause structures while keeping them accurate.

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