Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In few countries, people having more then age of five decade seems to find hard to get jobs which are according to their experience.There are many consequences of it.

In many countries goverment have a policy of retirement of a person when he exceed to 60 years.Like in Pakistan government gave different type of insurances for there employee after retirement.For example,after services goverment should pay the total expences of there family members included him like health insurance,life insurance and also electricity bill of their house.Whereas the person who are not government servent may face different difficulties after retirement because private sector didnot ensure you about your retirement facilities.

On the otherhand,in private sector the pay of a person sets according to their experience.In many industries when they need a good experience employee they offer him a good package but when they feel that a young graduate do as same as he does then they start blackmailing him that they were reducing their salary,at that point employee surrendered and accept there offer.Due to shortage, of industry in all over the world and a high litracy rate of more then 50 percent, people didnot find good jobs.Then due to competition in market young people can accept the offer of less salary just to run there family which can directly effect the most experience people of market.

In conclusion,over government should make some policies for private sector in which people over 50 and 60 feel secure and after retirement they can easily run there family and make a contract base system for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify relevant causes, including retirement policies, limited retirement support in the private sector, and competition from younger workers willing to accept lower salaries. The example of Pakistan adds some context. However, the response only partially addresses the task: the causes receive more attention than the measures, and the proposed solutions—policies to protect older workers and contract-based employment—are mentioned briefly without explaining how they would improve access to good jobs. The opening also says there are “many consequences,” rather than clearly stating that you will discuss causes and solutions. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation or example, and make your position and proposed measures explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas about retirement and private-sector competition are grouped into separate sections, and phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion” help signal movement. However, progression is not always clear. The first body paragraph focuses on retirement benefits, while the link between these benefits and difficulty finding good jobs is not fully explained. The second paragraph combines salary pressure, industry shortages, literacy and competition, making the central argument difficult to follow. Some linking phrases, including “On the otherhand,” are used mechanically or inaccurately. Organise each paragraph around one clear cause or solution and use linking words to show the precise relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to employment and the topic, including “retirement,” “experience,” “private sector,” “salary” and “competition.” These terms help communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument difficult to understand. For example, “blackmailing him” seems to mean pressuring an employee to accept a pay cut, while “high litracy rate” does not clearly explain the intended labour-market problem. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “goverment,” “expences” and “servent.” Build a more precise set of phrases for describing age discrimination, hiring practices and employment security, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “when they feel that a young graduate do as same as he does” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “government have a policy” needs subject–verb agreement, while “a young graduate do” needs a correctly formed verb. The opening also contains an incomplete or unclear construction: “people having more then age of five decade seems to find hard.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and commas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.