Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Working is a basic need of every citizen. In some countries, people over 50 years of age finds it much harder to get a good job, inspite the experience they contain. I will discuss this in detail in the body paragraph.

To begin with, what are the actual causes to people finding such difficulties? Firstly, the age factor. Many aged people do not get a good job because of their older mind and body, They are neigther capable of long time work nor much strong to do harder work. Moreover, people over 50 years of age are not powerful in thinking. They cannot be provided by the tasks which they cannot handle or process, Further more, many big companies main aim is to hire youngsters. From them, they can get much hard and long term work. They can cut their salary easily and also punish them on any wrong but, no older person can be punished the same way.

In addition, this problem is mostly in poor countries or countries under-development. To solve such problems, necessary measures can be taken such as new industries should be opened, new jobs should be given specially to older people. Moreover, the older people should be provided by machinery which they can use at their homes, and eventually work from home, for instance the sewing machines, dry cleaning machines or the pressing irons are helpful.

As per my conclusion, these necessary measures will definitely help older people earn their living without bowing Infront of anybody. If they cannot get good jobs they can definitely do their own little work to stay immuned and happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying causes, including employers’ preference for younger workers and assumptions about older people’s physical or mental abilities, then suggesting new industries and home-based work. However, the response only partially develops these points. For example, the claim that older people are “not powerful in thinking” is broad and unsupported, and the explanation that younger workers can be paid less or punished more needs clearer reasoning and evidence. The proposed measures are relevant, but the link between opening industries and improving older workers’ access to good jobs is not explained. Your position is generally understandable, but a more precise discussion of causes and practical solutions would make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and several ideas are placed together without a clear relationship. For instance, the points about physical ability, thinking, company hiring preferences, salary, and punishment need clearer links. The conclusion also introduces the idea of doing “their own little work” without developing it earlier. Use cohesive devices to show cause and effect more precisely, and organise each paragraph around one main point supported by explanation or an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “age factor,” “long-term work,” “industries,” and “work from home,” so the main ideas can be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “the experience they contain,” “older mind and body,” and “stay immuned.” Spelling and form errors, including “inspite,” “neigther,” and “Further more,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise language when describing employment barriers and solutions, and check common collocations and spelling. For example, describe older applicants as having “extensive experience” and refer to employers’ “assumptions about their abilities” rather than making broad claims about their thinking.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the conditional structure “If they cannot get good jobs they can definitely do their own little work.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include the subject–verb agreement error “people … finds,” the incomplete construction “in spite the experience,” and the faulty passive pattern “They cannot be provided by the tasks.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: the first causes paragraph contains comma splices and a capital letter after a comma. Practise accurate agreement, articles and prepositions, and build complex sentences with clear clauses. Careful proofreading for punctuation will help your ideas read more smoothly.

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