Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In several countires, people over the age of 50 with a lot of experience face too many hurdles to get appointed for a job. I think it is because companies requirerd more productivity and creativity from their employes but old individuals cannot bring this on table. In my opinion over aged people should be appointed in the job which requires less efforts.

The main reason companies are not hiring old persons becasue they have not enough skills according to the current requirments. Similarly, they are afraid of of missing an opportunity that he can avail. Eventually, the companies prefer to hire youngster instead of aged people as they require skilled persons which can tackle todays problems easily. For example, my friends runs a software house, he want experienced persons in his office and he is looking for skilled youngsters beacuse he is more upto date with modern technologies.

Furthermore, campanies should hire over aged individuals for the openings that requires less effort or creativity. Government should also introduce several job opportunites for them so that they can take part in the growth of economy. For instance, there are many opportunities in Pakistan for old persons like they are getting hired in hostel as a warden and a mess incharge. My uncle retired from police and now he is hired as a hostel warden.

In conclusion, hiring youngsters is a good thing becasue companies need more attention to detail but over aged persons should also be hired for different openings that requires less time and management.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by giving a cause—employers’ concern about current skills and productivity—and suggesting that older people be hired for less demanding roles, alongside government-created opportunities. The examples about your friend’s software company and your uncle’s work as a hostel warden make the response relevant. However, the explanation is limited and sometimes unclear: the claim that older workers “cannot bring” creativity is broad and unsupported, and the point about “missing an opportunity that he can avail” is difficult to interpret. The proposed measures also focus mainly on assigning older people less demanding work, rather than explaining how employers or workers could address skills gaps. Develop the causes and solutions more fully and make your position consistent, especially in the conclusion, which praises hiring younger workers without resolving the issue raised in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, one on measures, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your answer, and signposts such as “The main reason” and “Furthermore” indicate the intended relationship between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. In the causes paragraph, the point about employers fearing a missed opportunity is not clearly connected to the explanation that follows. Some links are mechanical, and references such as “they” and “he” do not always make it clear whether you mean employers, older workers, or a particular person. The conclusion also introduces a claim about attention to detail rather than clearly summarising your proposed solutions. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to its point, and check that pronouns have unmistakable references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “productivity,” “creativity,” “current requirements,” “modern technologies,” and “growth of economy,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making ideas harder to understand. For example, “bring this on table” is not a natural expression, “missing an opportunity that he can avail” is unclear, and “over aged individuals” is not an appropriate way to refer to older workers. Spelling errors such as “countires,” “requirerd,” “employes,” and “becasue” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of employment-related phrases and check spelling and collocations; for instance, use “meet current skill requirements” and “keep up with technological changes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a clause beginning “as they require skilled persons” and a relative clause in “openings that requires less effort.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “companies requirerd more productivity,” “my friends runs,” “he want,” and “openings that requires,” where the verb forms do not agree with their subjects or the intended tense. The sentence “I think it is because companies…” also needs clearer construction, while “In my opinion over aged people…” would benefit from punctuation after the introductory phrase. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and correctly matched verb, and use a wider range of complex structures only when you can control them accurately.

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