Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In few countries, it can be very hard for public upper the age of 50 to get better work, despite their knowledge.Over the age of 50, many people can not do work hardly.In this essay, i think this problem is very serious.

it is very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs .Firstly,when men cross the age of 50, they do not have much energy to done thier jobs perfectly.For example, after the age of 50 many people health is badly effected in different diseases such as shugar, over weight, blood pressure etc.

another reason is, after the age of 50 many people do not go to their jobs daily becuase they do their home works.This is very difficult problem for old age people but this problem have easy soultion, when people cross the age of 50, the government of every countries provides online jobs for old age people. online job has many benefits such as old people do their work in their home.

in my opinion, online job is perfect solution for old age people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the issue and offer a possible measure—government-provided online jobs—so the response is relevant to the question. However, the causes are only briefly stated: reduced energy and health problems are mentioned, while the claim that older people miss work to do household tasks is unclear and not convincingly linked to difficulty getting hired. The solution is also narrow and lacks explanation of how employers or workers would benefit. The response contains 168 words, below the required 250; 13 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This leaves too little space to explain and support the causes and measures, so the task is addressed only minimally. Develop at least two causes and practical solutions with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall shape: an introduction, a paragraph discussing possible causes and an online-work measure, and a brief concluding opinion. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “For example,” and “another reason” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression is limited, and the second body paragraph moves from a claim about attendance to a solution without clearly explaining the connection. The conclusion simply repeats that online work is a good solution. Paragraphing and links are present, but the ideas need clearer sequencing and development. Give each paragraph one main purpose, use transitions to show cause and effect, and make the conclusion summarise the argument rather than repeat one point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “experience,” “energy,” “diseases,” “government,” and “online jobs,” which makes the general topic understandable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “public upper the age of 50” does not express “people over 50,” and “do work hardly” appears to mean “work hard.” “Home works” is also not the natural phrase for household duties. Spelling errors such as “thier,” “becuase,” and “soultion” further reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for employment and age discrimination, and check spelling and common word combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a sentence beginning “when people cross the age of 50,” so there is some variety in structure. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to make parts of the response hard to understand. Examples include “many people can not do work hardly,” “they do not have much energy to done,” and “many people health is badly effected.” Capitalisation and spacing after full stops are also unreliable. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses for causes and examples. Proofread each sentence for verb form, possessives, and punctuation.

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