Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, people are facing difficulties in finding jobs, who are aged over 50 years, even though they have experience.In this essay, limited working hours and higher salary demand will be addressed as the main causes, while these can be solved by putting less pressure and decreasing wage demands, will be discussed as solution.

Firstly, over aged people may have some physical difficulties, which decreases their efficiency in the company. For example, if a senior person is absent in a job, the department struggles to operate their work. As a result, a company face difficulties, which discourage an organization on hiring elderly people. Secondly, an experienced employee has higher demand of salary, which creates a challenge to the company, as it causes difficulties on maintaining company's financial structure. Instead, they prefer an young blood with lower salary, as aged people struggle to get the job.

A potential solution for the first reason is, working pressure on an elderly employee should be reduced, and the organization should value his experience by utilizing him in decision making and problem solving. As a result, the employee will have less physical activities, which will increase his working duration. On the other hand, older people should reduce their salary demands. As a result, companies will be encouraged in hiring experienced people at a competetive wage and balance their financial stability.

In conclusion, in a developing world, over aged people are suffering in finding jobs due to their high expectations and physical limitations. However, these problems could be solved by proper work type and lower demands.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying physical limitations and salary expectations as causes, then proposing reduced physical demands and lower salary expectations as measures. Your position is clear, and the suggestions are relevant. However, some ideas are not fully explained: the example about a department struggling when a senior employee is absent does not clearly show why age itself makes hiring less attractive. The discussion also treats older workers as a single group and gives little support for the claim that they generally demand higher salaries. Develop the causes with clearer reasoning and specific examples, and explain how employers or governments could implement the proposed measures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, one on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main points. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “As a result” is used to introduce outcomes that are not fully established, and the connection between an employee’s absence and an organisation’s reluctance to hire older people needs to be made explicit. The introduction’s final sentence is also difficult to follow because it combines causes and solutions in an awkward structure. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make references such as “these problems” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “efficiency,” “salary demands,” “decision making,” and “financial stability.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range is uneven and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. Examples include “over aged people,” “young blood,” and “decreasing wage demands”; the intended meaning is generally understandable, but these phrases are not well suited to formal academic writing. There are also spelling and word-form issues, such as “competetive.” Aim for more precise, natural collocations and avoid broad labels for older workers. This would make your argument sound more formal and help distinguish between physical capacity, experience, and pay expectations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including relative clauses and cause-and-effect structures, as in “people … who are aged over 50 years” and “which creates a challenge to the company.” However, some sentence structures are faulty or difficult to follow, particularly the introduction’s final sentence, which lacks a clear grammatical connection between the causes and solutions. There are also errors in agreement and articles: “a company face” should be “a company faces,” and “an young blood” has an incorrect article. Punctuation and spacing need attention, including the missing space after “experience.” Work on constructing clear main clauses first, then add subordinate clauses, and check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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