Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries,it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 toget good jobs,despite their experience.This is a great problem for the people who belong to middle or low class families and they have responsibilities of their families.They have to brought up their children but their advancing age do not let them keeping their jobs.In most of the developing countries like Pakistan,people at the age of 60 get retired from their government jobs.Although they are given extra allounces by government but those allounces are not enough for them to live a satisfied life.They have to do some extra work or jobs to run their household expenditures.But unfortunately,they are not given opportunities to get jobs after retirement.

There should be a lot of causes of unemployment of people above the age of 50.As we know that today the world is evolving day by day.The world population is also increasing to its great limits.People having advanced age must have conventional ideas related to their fields.So all the industries and firms took an eye at young generation which is so advanced according to this competitive world.So all the opportunities are provided to them.Morever,the advance aged people also face difficulty in getting jobs because of their health conditions.Most of the people above the age of 50 get different diseases like heart problems,diabetes,problems related to blood pressure,etc.So the there is high demand of young employs in job market rather then old age people.Mostly fresh graduates are highly demanded by job markets.

In my opinion government should also keep an eye on job markets.There should be opportunities for people having age more than 50 so that they can also live a happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify relevant causes, including employers’ preference for younger workers, older applicants’ conventional ideas, and health concerns. The example of retirement at 60 in Pakistan also gives the discussion a specific context. However, the task is only partially addressed: the causes receive more attention than the measures, and the final paragraph offers only a general call for government action and more opportunities. Your position is present, but the proposed solution is not explained—for example, you could suggest age-discrimination rules, retraining, or flexible work arrangements and show how these would help. Several claims, such as older people being less suited to a competitive world, are broad and need qualification or support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an opening context, a paragraph on causes, and a concluding recommendation. This helps readers identify the main sections. However, progression is limited because the first paragraph mixes financial pressures, retirement, and the lack of post-retirement work, while the second lists causes without clearly developing their relationships. Linking phrases such as “So” and “Moreover” are repeated or used mechanically, and “There should be a lot of causes” does not clearly introduce the explanation that follows. The conclusion is very brief and does not bring the causes and solutions together. Grouping each cause with its explanation, then giving a separate, developed solutions paragraph, would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “retired,” “competitive,” “health conditions,” and “job market,” so the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. For example, “extra allounces” appears to mean additional allowances, “run their household expenditures” is not a natural expression, and “took an eye at young generation” does not convey the intended idea idiomatically. There are also spelling errors such as “Morever” and “employs.” Aim for precise phrases such as “meet household expenses,” “prefer younger candidates,” and “older workers,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Although they are given extra allounces by government but those allounces are not enough…”. However, the structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make reading difficult in places. Examples include “they have to brought up,” “their advancing age do not let them keeping,” and “the world population is also increasing to its great limits.” The opening also runs several clauses together without consistent spacing or punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses; check subject–verb agreement and verb patterns such as “have to bring up” and “does not allow them to keep working.”

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