Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

yes in some countries and even in many cities in pakistan and abroad country such as europien country i observe this problem that the peoples whose age is fifty are above cannot be eligible for a job.and this problems mainly in pakistan.it is a common problem that the age of 50 people does not get a job. there are many reason first the people whose age is fifty cannot do thier work correctly. and they become lazy in doing every task. but they are well experienced.and second is market crowd. every year many young people who are well educated from many university. and they goes through the different country to get a job. so i think that the owner can replace the old people with young. this is the main reason that people of the age of fifty cannont get a job.the owner keep in mind that the people of the age of fifty have a great experience, but when they thought the these old man are lazy in doing every work, and this is the big loss to his company.

and the people whose age is fifty might there are great chance for thier eye effect, such as blindness.but in my opinion this is not difficult to get a job in foreign countries. but in pakistan this is might difficult . because in abroad country they observe the experience of a people not age . so experience is better for getting a job in abroad country and in pakistan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify two relevant causes: employers may prefer younger applicants because of competition in the job market, and they may assume older workers are less capable or have health problems. You also offer a comparison between Pakistan and other countries. However, the response only partly answers the task because it does not clearly explain practical measures to solve the problem. The statement that employers should value experience is a useful starting point, but it is not developed into a specific measure, such as age-discrimination rules, retraining, or flexible work. Some claims, including that people over 50 become lazy, are presented as general facts rather than supported or qualified ideas. Develop both causes and solutions with clearer explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from the problem to possible causes and then to a comparison between Pakistan and other countries. Linking words such as “first,” “and second,” and “so” help show some relationships between ideas. However, the response is largely one continuous paragraph, and the progression is difficult to follow: causes, employers’ views, health concerns, and the country comparison are mixed together. Several points are repeated, especially that people aged 50 struggle to get jobs. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main point. Clearer references and transitions would also help readers see how each idea connects to the task.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant employment terms, including “well experienced,” “market crowd,” “replace,” and “company,” so the general topic is usually understandable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several choices are inaccurate or unclear, such as “market crowd,” “abroad country,” and “eye effect.” Spelling errors, including “europien,” “thier,” and “cannont,” also reduce clarity. Aim for more precise phrases for the ideas you discuss, such as competition for vacancies, age-related assumptions, and vision problems. Vary repeated words like “people” and “job,” and check spelling and collocations carefully so your meaning is easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with occasional attempts to connect ideas using “because,” “but,” and “when.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the people whose age is fifty cannot do thier work correctly” has an awkward clause structure, while “the owner keep in mind” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “every year many young people who are well educated from many university.” Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences and combining them into longer structures. Careful punctuation and proofreading would make the argument easier to follow.

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