Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some countries people above then 50 are unable to get jobs and they are rejected by saying that they are over limit and not eligble for that required seat despite their experience . It is becuase that some people think and science prove that when a person get over age he start losing his staimna and enegy level so he could not fulfil the requirments a company demands. a company demands that a employ should have more energy level and smart work capacity and sharp understanding level. youth have graet energy level and sharp mind that can make them eligible for a job they can think at understanding level of the problem because they have sharp mind more faster than an over aged person . they can walk with the modren era and mkae themself eligible for everything . so the comapny wants its advertisment by youth because they sharp mind and more enegy level which can boost their company and make them more sucessful than others and therefore they demand youth and not accept the over aged persons despite of thier experince . in my opinion the main cause of thuis problem is the modren age because now the woorld has been revoultionaized and had made grater progress in every field every thing is making rapid progress so every one wants to run the race with them so they wamt youth and energatic people who could run the race . te meausre for this should be that where the progress and rapid growth is needed youth and energetic people should be placed thir and where the experienced persons are needed thir should be over 50 should be placed . as i wnat youth at lower level for progress and and experinced for guidance so they could guide the,.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you suggest that employers favour younger workers because of perceived energy and adaptability, and you propose assigning younger staff to fast-moving work while older employees provide guidance. This is relevant and gives your response a clear general direction. However, the causes are presented mainly as broad claims—for example, that “science prove” older people lose stamina—and are not supported with a specific example or explanation of how experience could benefit employers. The proposed solution is also brief and does not explain how workplaces could make these roles fair or practical. Develop each main point with a reason and a concrete example, and make your position clearer from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable movement from the problem and its causes to a proposed measure, and phrases such as “in my opinion” and “the measure for this should be” signal a change in focus. However, the response is presented as one long block, so the reader has to work to identify the stages of your argument. Ideas also repeat, particularly the claims about young people’s energy and sharp minds, while links between points are often unclear. For example, the shift from employers wanting youth to the suggestion that older workers should guide them needs a clearer explanation. Use separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and connect each claim to the next with precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “experience,” “rapid progress,” “energy level,” and “guidance,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “youth,” “sharp mind,” and “energy level.” There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “eligble,” “experince,” and “modren,” and some unnatural combinations, including “over aged persons” and “run the race.” These choices sometimes make the argument harder to follow. Build a more varied set of employment-related expressions and check spelling; aim for natural phrases such as “older applicants,” “adapt to technological change,” and “transfer their expertise.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and results in longer sentences, using structures such as “because” and “so,” and the reader can usually identify your main point. However, the range is limited, and many sentences contain repeated errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For instance, “when a person get over age he start losing” needs agreement and clearer punctuation, while “a employ should have” has an incorrect article and noun form. The final sentence also breaks down syntactically, making the intended relationship between younger workers and experienced staff difficult to understand. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas carefully and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

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