Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, It is difficult for aged person who is over 50 to get job while they are experienced.The major causes of this issue is age discrimination and lack of knowladge of technology . This essay will discuss how we get the solution of this problem by providing pension and training to older people.

The major cause of unemployment among older generation is age discrimination and lackof knowladge about new technology because every organization have their own decoram to proceede their work moreover, according to their perspective, older people are less energatic and unknown from new techniques.however, they have a great experince about the project but the employers prefers younger generation because of their high ability and their sharp mind to use computers and developed new things from modern technology.

These problem can be handle by setting the limit in every oraganization and providing the pension to older people after retirement but if employers want a experience people so they shouldprovide training to older generation about new techniques morover, also gave them lesson how to use new technologies to stand with this modern society.

All in all , the issue of unemployment caused by age discrimination and lack of knowladge about new technology can be solved by providing pension and training to older employs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify two relevant causes—age discrimination and limited knowledge of new technology—and propose pension provision and training, so the response addresses both parts of the question. However, the ideas are only partly developed. For example, you say employers view older workers as less energetic and less able with computers, but do not explain why this perception persists or support it with a specific example. The proposed “limit in every organization” is unclear: it is not evident whether this means a hiring quota or an age-related rule, and pensions do not directly help people over 50 obtain good jobs. The response is also below the required 250 words, which limits the opportunity to explain and support your points. Clarify the measures and develop each cause with an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several ideas are joined mechanically with “moreover,” “however,” and “but.” For instance, the sentence beginning “The major cause…” combines employers’ workplace practices, assumptions about older workers, and their experience without clearly showing how these points connect. The conclusion repeats the introduction rather than drawing together the explanation. Use clearer topic sentences, separate distinct points, and make references such as “These problem” precise so the links between ideas are easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “age discrimination,” “retirement,” “employers,” and “modern technology,” and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors make the writing less clear. Examples include “aged person” for “older people,” “lack of knowledge,” “decoram” for workplace rules or practices, and “stand with this modern society” for “keep up with modern society.” Repeated use of “older people,” “technology,” and “problem” also limits variety. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully; choose words that express the intended meaning rather than relying on approximate expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect explanation beginning “because every organization…” and a conditional proposal beginning “if employers want…”. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. For example, “The major causes of this issue is” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “every organization have” also needs agreement. The long sentence beginning “The major cause of unemployment…” contains several clauses that are not clearly controlled, and missing spaces after full stops further disrupt reading. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then add subordinate clauses; check singular/plural agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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