Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In contemporary society, the poor eligibility of jobs for aging population has become a pressuring issue. In some countries, it is a very uphil task for some individuals to get better job opportunity after becoming fifty plus. In spite of their practice, it is a huge obstacle for them. In this essay, initially I'm gonna focus on the root on a problem before moving the possible outcomes.

To commence with, the key point to consider is that there are some requirements of authorities. They are dying to choose those employees who prove to be more beneficial for the economic growth of country. For the development of country, government prioritze to select resilent citizens below 50. This has a numerous impact on society and individuals. For example, to stand out in the list of better economic development goverment choose those people who are under 45. Last time while extracting the result of world wide jobs. The figure shows that more vacancies are given to those who have a stamina and great skill means adult children.

Furthermore, there are several possibilitives that government ought to give to whose are over the age of 50. The older adults have a numerous experience throught the life. This would be trustworthy approach to open new ways for those people who are about to retire such as providing pention after retirement. Sometimes, there are no offspring of retirees they need some who pay their expences during the last days of their lives.

In conslusion, if governments pay a special attention to providing better jobs to retirees, It would be better for the advancement of the country. Also it is a good way to pass time for those who are about to end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general issue and attempt to discuss both causes and measures, but the response only partially answers the question. The cause paragraph suggests that employers or authorities prefer younger workers for economic growth, yet it does not explain clearly why experience fails to secure older people good jobs. The proposed measures are also unclear: “providing pention after retirement” is retirement support rather than a way to improve access to good jobs, and the prompt asks for practical solutions to the employment problem. The conclusion repeats a broad claim about government attention without summarising specific measures. To strengthen the response, explain causes such as age discrimination or outdated skills, then develop relevant actions—for example, retraining, anti-discrimination rules, or flexible work arrangements—with supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence with” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow. The first body paragraph moves from authorities’ requirements to economic growth, then to a supposed worldwide jobs figure, without making the links clear. “Last time while extracting the result of world wide jobs” is especially hard to interpret and does not provide a clear example. The second paragraph shifts from older workers’ experience to pensions and family support, rather than developing a connected employment solution. Use topic sentences that directly answer each part of the question, and make each following sentence explain or support that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “experience,” “retirees” and “vacancies,” and some choices show an effort to use formal language. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “poor eligibility of jobs” does not naturally express limited access to employment, while “pressuring issue” and “uphil task” are unsuitable or misspelled forms. “Adult children” is also unclear in the context of describing younger workers. Spelling errors such as “prioritze,” “resilent,” “possibilitives” and “conslusion” further reduce precision. Build a reliable set of employment-related phrases and check spelling and collocations before using less familiar vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including “In spite of their practice…” and “Sometimes, there are no offspring of retirees…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation can make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “This has a numerous impact” has an incorrect article and number pattern, while “government prioritze to select” has an incomplete verb construction and does not clearly identify the subject. The sentence beginning “Last time while extracting…” is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “It” after a comma. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, verb forms and punctuation when combining clauses.

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