Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The problem of unemployment after the age of 50 and the reasons behind it, despite a very good experience and knowledge.

In most of the countries the age of retirement for the employed ones is above 50 or 60 years and there are alot of reasons why mature people face so many difficulties to get job after 50 years old. The main causes which effect them or an obstacle in their pathway to secure a job is their mature age, health issues, inability to work hard, long or under pressure, loss of focus and activeness due to aging signs and with large experience they also demand high pay. However, a lot of companies choose to hire young people with moderate experience to pay them less as compared to old or more experienced ones, for better and newer ideas, their ability to work hard under pressure without any hesitation.The only problem they face is not their age but sometimes also their capacity to work and not having a long term job agrement.

There are also some measures and solutions present through which we can tackle these issues. Instead of any hardworking or longterm jobs the company can hire mature people for short term jobs/agreements. There are also easy job roles in each company and seats present only for old people just like in Europe, USA, Uk and Australian companies where old people can work easily with their large experience and better health insurances and pay. For example, In UAE most of the bussiness companies such as real estate prefer old people because of their much experiences and better problem solving skills.

In conclusion, each country/company have their own restrictions and demands so it depends entirely on it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying possible causes, including health and stamina concerns, employers’ preference for lower-paid younger staff, and older applicants’ salary expectations, then suggesting short-term roles and positions suited to experienced workers. The UAE example adds some relevant support. However, the discussion is only partly developed: several causes are listed without explaining how strongly they affect hiring, and the proposed measures—especially “easy job roles” and short-term agreements—are not clearly shown to solve the problem. The conclusion says outcomes depend on each company or country but does not restate a clear view of the most effective response. Explain and support fewer ideas in more depth, and make the link between each measure and the causes explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening, a paragraph on causes, one on solutions, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the answer. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The causes paragraph combines many points in one long sequence, while the solutions paragraph moves from short-term contracts to reserved roles and then to the UAE example without clearly connecting them. Linking phrases such as “However” and “For example” are useful, but some connections are abrupt, and the final sentence does not bring the argument together. Organise each body paragraph around a clear main idea, use separate sentences to explain and illustrate it, and make references such as “these issues” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “mature people,” “health issues,” “under pressure,” “problem solving skills,” and “experience.” These choices make the subject clear, and some phrases show an attempt to discuss employment in a more specific way. However, the range is limited by repeated or imprecise wording, and several collocations or forms are inaccurate: “large experience,” “loss of focus and activeness,” and “better health insurances” do not sound natural in this context. Spelling errors such as “alot,” “agrement,” and “bussiness” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural employment-related collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision; for example, use “extensive experience” and “health insurance.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence that contrasts employers’ choices and a concluding sentence with a reason clause. However, control is inconsistent, and complex sentences often become difficult to follow. The opening is a fragment rather than a complete sentence, and the long causes sentence lacks clear grammatical structure. There are also recurring errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “each country/company have,” and in articles and plurals, as in “get job” and “health insurances.” Punctuation is sometimes missing where sentences run together, particularly before “The only problem.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate clauses and punctuation.

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