Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Indeed, I can back this statement with the experience of my Grandfather as there was a time he was recognised as the most skilled blacksmith in town. In his 40s I remember seeing many big surgical companies offering him high paying contracts and promising a life full of luxuries in return of getting their products made by my grandfather. But as they say after every uphill there is a downfall however the downfall hit my grandfather way too early from what he expected as in his late 50s people stopped offering him contracts although his experience had vastly increased but the speed at which he used to work had declined massively. The employers always want labour with innovative minds as well as quick service due to high competition and a small wait or delay can cost them millions thus they ought to not take any risk by hiring old people rather they hire the new freshly graduates to increase work flow. Another reason could be due to old people charging alot more due to their several years of experience therefore instead of paying large sums of money to alot of old experienced workers they just hire one old experienced worker and instruct them to just guide the newer employees on how to do work moreover this cuts cost and quality of work is not affected but in return this decreases the number of jobs for old people and thus the supply of good jobs decreases and many people with age of 50 tend to do not so good jobs. The measures that can be taken to prevent this from happening are the government laws as they should take care of their old labour by giving them secured jobs till retirement in government agencies and projects utilising their experience as this happened with my grandfather when he applied for a government program when a still mill was started by government in my country. On the other hand the old people should also have realistic demands regarding their salaries and should try to compensate on not charging large sums of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear view that employers may favour younger workers for speed and lower costs, while government support and more realistic salary expectations could help older applicants. The grandfather’s blacksmithing experience gives the discussion a relevant personal example, and the explanation of employers using experienced staff to train newer workers adds a second cause. This meets the task well, with some elements showing the fuller development expected at the next level. However, the claims about older workers being slower and charging more are broad, and the proposed government jobs measure is not explored in terms of feasibility or wider application. Develop these points with balanced reasoning and a more specific example of retraining, flexible work, or age-discrimination protections.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a discernible sequence: a personal example introduces the issue, causes are discussed, and the final section offers measures. However, most of the essay is presented as one long paragraph, so the shift from causes to solutions is difficult to follow. Several linking expressions are also overused or awkwardly connected, including “however,” “thus,” “moreover,” and “on the other hand.” The long chain beginning “The employers always want labour…” combines several separate claims without clear boundaries, weakening progression and making references such as “this” less precise. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit. This would create clearer progression and more controlled cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss employment and experience, including “high paying contracts,” “high competition,” “secured jobs,” and “utilising their experience.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and terms such as “contracts” and “retirement” suit the topic. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, but some collocations and word choices are inaccurate or informal: “freshly graduates,” “in return of,” “a small wait,” and “compensate on not charging” do not sound natural in this context. Repetition of “old people” also limits precision and can sound insensitive; “older workers” or “experienced applicants” would be more appropriate. Aim for accurate employment-related collocations and vary references to older employees.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses with “although,” “as,” and “when,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some sentences are overloaded with multiple clauses, which leads to punctuation and sentence-boundary problems. For example, the opening sentence beginning “Indeed, I can back this statement…” runs into several ideas without clear punctuation, while “although his experience had vastly increased but…” incorrectly combines two contrasting linkers. There are also errors in sentence construction and agreement, such as “people with age of 50 tend to do not so good jobs” and “the old people should also have realistic demands.” Break long sentences into shorter units, check verb patterns after “tend,” and review articles, agreement, and punctuation when joining clauses.

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