Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many countries , it can be huge problem to find a better job for older cityzen, in spite of their skill. This eassy would discuss the reason of this issue , and what step could be taken to reduce it .

Fristly , In most of countries big companies don not hire the older people , they think this emplyee can be weakness for their work. For example , In big shoppnig mall it appears that their only young genaration handle coustomers . When they publish job circuller they mention that , only hiring young people like age 18 to 40 .

In addition to , Mnay factories it can seen that there only young people can job like worker , In that case they assume that old people can not do the heavy work .For example a adult people carry heavy staps and they did not fall but older can not. They relaise that is not their cup of tea.

And moving to driving sector , there can be provablly seen that older genaration but they should not stay there . This sector are most risk for all . The government can crate some factories for them , there they can made some essential things like cloths, house hold items , tht take less effort to make , for that they do not feel bore or can make money .

In conclusion , everyone should more kind for elder people and goverment can give them retirement pension . Also they might do any kind of work from home and make money for them. In this genaration that would be very eassy. They can make some relaiable items and sold their in online , that can be very easy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying employers’ preference for younger staff and concerns about older workers doing physically demanding or risky jobs, then suggesting factory work, pensions and working from home. These are relevant ideas, and the examples of shopping malls and factories help illustrate the causes. However, several points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, the claim that older employees are seen as a “weakness” is not explored, and the proposed factories are not clearly connected to how they would create good jobs. The measures in the conclusion are also presented briefly, with little detail about how they could be implemented. Develop each cause and solution with clearer reasoning and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on causes, a paragraph proposing a measure, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “In addition to,” and “In conclusion” signal the direction of the essay. However, progression is uneven because the paragraph beginning “And moving to driving sector” shifts from a possible cause to a solution without clearly explaining the connection. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, and references such as “they” and “there” do not always make it clear who or what is meant. Group the causes together, then discuss solutions in a distinct paragraph, using clear topic sentences and more precise links between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to employment and the topic, including “heavy work,” “retirement pension,” “factories,” and “work from home.” However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make the reader work to understand the message. Examples include “cityzen,” “emplyee,” “job circuller,” and “relaiable”; phrases such as “older people can be weakness” and “they did not fall” are also unclear or unnatural. Repetition of “older people,” “young people,” and “make” limits precision. Build a bank of accurate employment terms and check spelling, word forms, and collocations. For example, describe employers’ “preference for younger applicants” and older workers’ “transferable skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate through mostly simple statements and make some attempts to join ideas with clauses, as in “When they publish job circuller they mention that…” and “For example a adult people carry heavy staps and they did not fall but older can not.” However, sentence structures are limited, and errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb forms frequently obscure meaning. The opening, “Many countries, it can be huge problem,” lacks a clear grammatical structure; “This sector are most risk” also has incorrect agreement and construction. Punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add controlled subordinate clauses. Proofread for articles, plural forms, and consistent verb tense.

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