Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Job is an important aspect. Some people do jobs for their needs as it is the basic source of income for these people. Some have jobs just for the sake of their experience and fondness. In many countries, the people over the age 50 faced difficulty to get a good job either they have experienced or not. This essay will discuss the causes behind this and also suggest some measures to overcome this issue.

First of all the main factor is age. No doubt, the people of older age are incapable of paying attention and do work properly. The health is a major cause. For example in Pakistan, the people of this age have many health related issues such as diabetes, hypertension, rising cholesterol and mainly liver issues. With no doubt, a person with sych health issues are unable to perform and concentrate well. Despite this , we could not ignore the necessity and compulsion of these people. They should be adjusted according to their abilities.

To overcome these problems, companies and offices should take valuable measures and must give opportunities to this age group. Firstly they should make less hectic and attentive work sections for them. Secondly supportive measurements should also be developed followed by work assistants. Moreover, there should be a separate section for their health measurements. For Example, in case of any emergency, instantly provide them with proper medication and health related concerns should also be managed like stethoscope, sphygmomanometer apparatus. In this way we could address these issues.

In conclusion, although it is difficult to give good jobs for this age group of people and also it is difficult for them to do properly and in well concentration manner but we should use these measurements to support and accommodate them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying age and health as causes, then proposing workplace adjustments and health support. The Pakistan example gives the discussion some context, and your position—that older workers should be accommodated—is apparent. However, the causes are not fully convincing or sufficiently explored: the claim that older people are “incapable of paying attention and do work properly” is broad and unsupported, and it risks reinforcing a stereotype rather than explaining employers’ decisions. The proposed measures are also somewhat narrow and focus mainly on health and lighter duties. Explain other causes, such as age discrimination or employers’ preference for newer skills, and develop practical responses such as retraining and fair recruitment policies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “First of all,” “Firstly,” and “Secondly” help readers follow the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and the links between ideas can feel mechanical. For example, the discussion moves from health conditions to the need to adjust older workers without explaining the connection in detail. The conclusion repeats the difficulty of employing and supporting this age group rather than bringing the main causes and solutions together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to its point; also vary linking expressions and use pronouns with clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health related issues,” “opportunities,” “work assistants,” and “accommodate,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, which makes parts of the argument harder to follow. For instance, “valuable measures,” “less hectic and attentive work sections,” and “health measurements” do not express the intended ideas clearly. The list of medical equipment is specific but does not strengthen the employment argument as much as vocabulary about skills, recruitment, or workplace adaptation would. Build a more precise set of collocations and check word forms and spelling, including “such” rather than “sych.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “in case of any emergency” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “the people over the age 50 faced difficulty,” “a person with sych health issues are unable,” and the final sentence, where the “although” clause is not completed with a clear main clause. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, especially when a singular subject such as “a person” is followed by a verb.

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