Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Billions of young employees are produced every year, and a alrge proportion of them are ready to sacrifice years from their lives for a job. What makes it more difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

This issue can be explained by multiple reasons.

First of all, it is very obvious that companys nowadays are more interested in young employees. Because, they can spend more years in the company while getting a lesser salary than those who are above 50 and have a good experience. For that reason, it is better for employers to accept young people and guarantee that they will stay relyed on them until they build a real experience.

For instance, the majority of graduated students usually strugle to find a company that accept them with their limited practical skills. As a result, they will cling there until they build them selves and find a better opportunity in the future.

To tackle this issue, it is better to go beyond the age and focus more on the experience of the employees. A lot of elderly people have a good experience that can improve the quality of company's work. For that reason it is obligatory for employers to focus more on that type of people. One example is, preparing a practical test for those who are over the age of 50 to see if they passe it before trying them in the real work. At the end you can see if they enhanced the work or not.

In conclusion, work opportunities should be equal for yound and old people.

And it is esential to focus more on the added value for the company before taking and desion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your position that hiring should focus on value rather than age is clear in the conclusion. The explanation that employers may prefer younger staff because they can pay them less and expect them to stay longer is relevant, but the claim about lower salaries is not explained or supported in enough detail. Your proposed practical test is also relevant, yet its purpose and how it would ensure fair hiring remain unclear. The example about graduates mainly illustrates why young people seek jobs, rather than directly showing the disadvantage faced by experienced applicants over 50. Develop each point with a clearer link to the problem and a specific supporting example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your answer. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion moves from employers’ preferences to graduates’ struggles without clearly connecting that example to older applicants. Linking phrases such as “For that reason” are repeated, and some transitions do not show the relationship between ideas precisely. The conclusion is brief and repeats the general call for equal opportunities rather than drawing together the cause and proposed solution. Use clearer topic sentences, explain how each example supports its point, and vary cohesive devices to make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “employees,” “practical skills,” “experience,” and “work opportunities,” so the main subject is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the response less fluent. For example, “guarantee that they will stay relyed on them” does not express the intended idea clearly, while “cling there” is an unnatural way to describe remaining with an employer. There are also noticeable spelling errors such as “companys,” “strugle,” and “esential.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “retain younger employees” and “rely on their experience,” and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “Because” and a relative clause in “people … who are over the age of 50.” However, control is inconsistent, and faulty sentence construction sometimes makes relationships between ideas unclear. “Because, they can spend more years…” is an incomplete sentence, and “What makes it more difficult …?” is framed as a question even though the paragraph is presenting an explanation. Agreement and article use also need attention, as in “a company that accept them” and “the quality of company’s work.” Punctuation around sentence openings and the final conclusion is uneven. Practise joining dependent clauses to complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement and articles.

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