Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Getting jobs has always been a demanding activity for youth and adults. In many countries, the state policy is changing towards placement of jobs for adult people mostly aged over 50. We find number of causes behind this growing issue.

The most common cause of unemployment in people over 50 is bad financial conditions. The aged people are bound to work even in thier later stages of life to earn the bread and butter for thier families. Another common reason which is reported is poor Pension systems in developing countries. Different governments have not paid much attention to improve pension systems in order to save its old age citizens from this hassel.

Many corporate organizations have given thier stance on this issue and have discouraged this opinion of hiring old aged people by stating that they prefer young people who have fresh ideas , are more adaptable to new technologies and are efficient in completing tasks over the people who still work in old ways and do not use technology to complete different tasks. The problem has reached to a new peak after integration of Artificial Intelligence almost in every field of life and in every corporate office. The problem does not lie in the use of Artificial Intelligence but the right use of AI tools.

But it is also certain that no technology can beat the experience. For instance in many factories, whenever some fault appears in any machine, the preference is given to the most scenior technician of the factory. Similarly almost all restaurants prefer to hire a most experienced chef as the head of chef's team and all of them are over 50. To curb this problem, government should launch special technical courses and programs for the people who have stepped in thier 50's so that they could be placed in decent and respectable jobs and most importantly they do not feel themselves useless and abandoned in the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question by identifying causes and proposing a measure. The discussion of employers favouring younger applicants because they may adapt more readily to technology is relevant, and the examples of experienced technicians and chefs help show the value of older workers. However, the causes are not consistently clear: financial hardship and weak pension systems explain why older people need work, rather than directly why they struggle to obtain good jobs. The proposed technical courses are relevant, but the response could explain how they would improve employability and include measures from employers, such as fairer recruitment or retraining. Develop these links more fully and make the distinction between causes and consequences clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: it introduces the issue, discusses causes, gives examples of older workers’ strengths, and ends with a proposed solution. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and phrases such as “Another common reason” and “For instance” guide the reader. Some connections, however, are not fully clear. The opening refers to changing state policy without explaining its relevance, and the paragraph on financial hardship and pensions shifts from job access to the need to work. The transition from AI to the examples of experienced workers is also abrupt. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example directly to the point it supports; this would make progression more consistent and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “pension systems,” “adaptable to new technologies,” “integration of Artificial Intelligence,” and “technical courses.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the examples are generally understandable. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural expressions and spelling errors, such as “old aged people,” “hassel,” “scenior,” and “head of chef’s team.” “Placement of jobs” and “save its old age citizens” are also awkward collocations. Aim for more precise, natural phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, use “older workers,” “employment opportunities,” and “senior technician”; this would make the argument sound more fluent and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the relative clause in “people who have fresh ideas” and the purpose clause “so that they could be placed.” Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. In “Different governments have not paid much attention to improve,” the pattern should be “paid much attention to improving.” The sentence beginning “The most common cause … is bad financial conditions” has a mismatch between singular “cause” and plural “conditions”; revise it to “A common cause … is poor financial conditions” or “The most common causes … are.” There are also article and number issues in “a most experienced chef” and “a new peak.” Review these patterns and punctuation around long sentences to improve accuracy.

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