Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

To begin with , there are several reasons why old people for good job is an important in our daily life . That main reasons is other countries 50 above the age people should not the good job can have dircet people on society . Many other old people face this issue in their daily live , it can influence their lifestyle in different way . For example private factory , labour job holder it is a very bad job in last stage age . The important point is that government and private institute can have both positive and negative effects . It mainly depend on how people chose government sector can help people make them penshion .

Moreover , there are government job holder people way to improve the situation . In my opnion the best way from job government sector but other private factory and private collage and university the best opportunity on the employes . People should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . The government and private sector can also play an important role fifty above ages and give away the best opportunity and full support . For instance all countries old ages people give away from annual bonus and must end the month transfer the account in the penshion .

In conclusion , other private institute in my country poor opportunity then the old ages people is important issue that should not be ignored . If old people private companies sever the long time but old age not good the facility . All some countries must the law old ages people month the end penshion and annual bones and good the facility . And then negative effect can be reduced way to improve the situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a general attempt to discuss both why older people struggle to find good jobs and what might improve their situation, mentioning private-sector opportunities, government support and pensions. However, the causes are not clearly identified or explained: phrases such as “other countries 50 above the age people should not the good job” do not establish what employers do or why. The proposed measures are also difficult to interpret, and the response shifts between job opportunities, annual bonuses and pension payments without explaining how these address the employment problem. Your conclusion repeats these points rather than clarifying your position. To strengthen the response, state specific causes—such as age discrimination or outdated skills—and explain practical measures, with a relevant example for each.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and you use basic signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion.” These give the reader some sense of the essay’s stages. However, the ideas within paragraphs are not consistently connected, and the central line of argument is hard to follow. For example, the first paragraph moves from job access to factory work, government effects and pensions without showing how these points relate. References such as “That main reasons” and “the best way” are unclear, while several sentences appear beside one another without a clear logical link. Organise each paragraph around one cause or solution, then use clear explanations and examples to show how each point supports your answer.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “government sector,” “private factory,” “opportunity,” “support” and “pension.” This shows an effort to address employment and retirement rather than relying entirely on general language. However, word choice, spelling and collocation errors frequently make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “old people for good job,” “penshion,” “annual bones,” and “give away the best opportunity.” Some phrases appear to be direct translations and do not form natural English expressions. Build a reliable set of topic phrases, such as “older workers,” “age discrimination,” “job security” and “pension payments,” and check spelling and how words combine before using them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and you use basic linking structures such as “For example” and “If.” However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors in word order, articles, agreement and verb forms often obscure meaning. For instance, “it can influence their lifestyle in different way” lacks an article and plural agreement, while “It mainly depend on how people chose” has agreement and verb-form problems. The conditional sentence beginning “If old people private companies sever the long time” is also difficult to interpret because its clause structure is incomplete. Practise building clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that each clause has a complete and correctly formed verb.

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