Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, it has been a considerable discussion that many countries old aged people have some difficulties over their job, while they have experienced. I think people are more interested on young people because they believe young generation has the energy to give their best to their companies. This essay will discuss about the principal reasons and the solutions before reaching a conclusion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies a relevant cause: employers may favour younger people because they believe they have more energy. This shows some understanding of the topic, but the task asks for both causes and measures, and no solution is given. The cause is also only briefly stated, with no explanation or supporting example, and the promised discussion and conclusion do not appear. The response is substantially below the required length, so it cannot develop the task adequately. To improve, explain several causes, propose practical measures—such as age-discrimination protections or retraining—and support each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The ideas follow a basic sequence: an opening statement introduces the issue, the next sentence gives a possible reason, and the final sentence signals the intended essay structure. The phrase “This essay will discuss” provides a clear transition, so the reader can follow the limited progression. However, there is only one short paragraph, and the announced discussion and conclusion are not actually developed. The response therefore lacks the paragraphing and progression needed to organise a full argument. Use separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, connect each point with clear references, and ensure that the introduction leads into the promised body paragraphs and conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “experienced,” “young generation,” “energy,” and “companies,” and the central meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is narrow, and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “a considerable discussion,” “old aged people,” and “difficulties over their job.” These choices make the opening less natural and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Build a more precise range for discussing employment and age, and learn common collocations such as “older workers,” “face difficulties finding employment,” and “employers favour younger candidates.” This would make the argument clearer and more appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes a simple statement of opinion and a longer sentence with a subordinate clause: “I think people are more interested on young people because they believe…” This shows an attempt to combine ideas, and the main message remains understandable. However, grammatical control is uneven. In “many countries old aged people have some difficulties over their job,” the noun phrase and its relationship to the rest of the sentence are not formed clearly; “while they have experienced” also lacks a clear grammatical structure. The sentence beginning “This essay will discuss” uses an unnecessary preposition after “discuss.” Practise accurate clause construction, articles and prepositions, and vary sentence forms while checking that each clause is complete.

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