Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era , every departments are remotely control by advance digital system, so that why it is very difficult for old aged people to get good job. In contrast, they got experience in life and they are very punctual and decision maker in a short time, i argue that both of them have their own value in person life.

In the recent time, different policies are introduced by the different government about the job requirement in which the age is basic requirement for the job. In Pakistan many government and private sectors they prefer under 30 years candidate because they wanted to give job opporunities to young generation as compared to older individuals. For instance if they hire 50 years old candidate then they do not know about the computer operation because at that time education system was very simple. Seniors worker expect higher salaries and health benefit in this budget they can hire two fresh graduates.

On the other side the government should introduce the anti-discrimination law as they apply strict punishment and high fine amount on the rejection of older people age. The underlying reason for this so that they able to support themselves financially. In many developed, the old employed work for the companies from home in return they get 60 percent salaries. At this age many individuals start retraining programs which are very beneficial for the younger people. For example, English, freelancing, TEVTA, NAVTTC courses in Pakistan. From my perspective, work force diversity is very improtant because everyone have different ideas and have their own importance. In the same way, if older people hire then it will effect the job opportunities for younger generation.

In a conclusion, although mature workers possess a wealth of experience and strong work ethic, they often face ageism because employers consider them a financial burden and not tech-savvy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both causes and possible measures, and your position that mature workers have value is clear. Relevant causes include employers preferring younger applicants, concerns about older workers’ computer skills, and the cost of salaries and health benefits. You also propose anti-discrimination laws and retraining, with examples such as freelancing and vocational courses. However, some points are more developed than others: the claim that older workers lack computer knowledge is broad and would benefit from evidence or qualification, while the proposed law and its enforcement are not explained in detail. The final point about older workers affecting young people’s job opportunities also introduces a tension that is not resolved. Develop each measure and clarify how it addresses the causes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Examples generally follow the points they support, and phrases such as “For instance” and “On the other side” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The second body paragraph moves from anti-discrimination laws to financial support, remote work, retraining, and then competition with younger workers without clearly connecting these points. Some linking phrases are also inaccurate or mechanical, and references such as “they” can leave the reader unsure whether you mean employers or older workers. Group related ideas more carefully and use clear topic sentences and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “anti-discrimination law,” “retraining programs,” “work force diversity,” and “health benefit,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the underlying reason” and “possess a wealth of experience.” However, word choice and collocation are often imprecise, and spelling errors are noticeable: “remotely control,” “advance digital system,” “oppurtnities,” and “improtant.” Phrases such as “old aged people” and “in this budget” are not natural in this context. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build accuracy by learning common employment collocations and checking spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if they hire” and a contrast introduced by “although.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “every departments are remotely control” and “everyone have different ideas”; the conditional sentence also shifts awkwardly between “they hire” and “they do not know.” Articles and sentence boundaries need attention, as in “In a conclusion” and the long opening sentence joined with “so that why.” Commas are often missing after introductory phrases, and several sentences combine multiple ideas without clear punctuation. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences around one clearly controlled main clause.

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