Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in some countries people who are over 50 years old often don't going to have the opportunity to find a job, and that's because a list of reasons some of them are most likely right, like they will look at that old man body and strength, weak and moving slowly could make any HR employee think twice before hiring that old man, another reason is the numbers of younger employees entering the market every year, if the companies are going to hire the old people, some of the younger people are going to struggle to find a place in the working ground, also people who's above 50 are actually going to retirement soon, so the company consider this as a waste of money and time, because they are going to pay them retirement money sooner than the younger workers.

however some companies prefer to hire them, they say these old workers are the real treasure,they see the opportunity to use them as trainers to the younger workers with a lower salary.

from my opinion this problem can be solved by a list of rules companies need to follow them, when they hire a above 50 years old employee, they pay less than 30% of the average salary, listed in the contract with the reason why, also they can hire one old man with experience that's can fill the same 3 younger employees can do individually.

in the end most of these old employees have already built a family and raised man's they can take care of them when they grow older, on the other hand younger employees are in the beginning of the trip

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant causes, including employers’ assumptions about older workers’ physical ability, competition from younger applicants, and concerns about retirement costs. You also attempt to suggest measures, such as using experienced workers to train younger staff and introducing rules for employers. However, the response only partially develops the task: the proposed lower salary is not clearly justified or explained, and the idea that one older worker can do the work of three younger employees is asserted without support. Your position is also difficult to follow in places, particularly in the final sentence about older workers’ families. Develop each measure with a clear explanation and a realistic example, and make your overall view explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: you move from causes to a contrasting view of older workers, then to possible solutions and a concluding thought. Linking expressions such as “however,” “also,” and “in the end” help signal these shifts. Nevertheless, the response has no clear paragraph structure, and several ideas are crowded into long sentences, making the progression difficult to follow. The final point about older workers having raised families does not clearly connect to the proposed solutions. Use separate paragraphs for causes, measures, and your conclusion; then connect each point with clear references and avoid relying on a sequence of loosely joined ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “opportunity,” “retirement,” “trainers,” and “average salary,” so the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “working ground,” “old man body,” and “the beginning of the trip.” Repetition of “old” and “younger” also limits variety. Choose more formal, precise terms for an academic essay, such as “older employees,” “physical capacity,” and “labour market.” Check collocations as well: “retirement money” would be more naturally expressed as “pension costs” or “retirement benefits.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express connected and complex ideas, for example by using clauses with “because” and “if.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “people … don't going to have,” “the company consider,” and “when they hire a above 50 years old employee.” These show problems with verb forms, subject–verb agreement, and articles. Long sentences joined mainly by commas also make grammatical relationships unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to verb agreement and consistent sentence boundaries.

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