Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries people over fifty are experiencing some difficulties regarding getting a job despite their experience. This issue can be addressed through a public policy with the Government involvement.

One important reason is that people over fifty are more prone to having health issues. This is because they are older and their bodies could present health complications such as work-related injuries. As a result, elder employees may be more likely to request medical leaves. For example, a person in their twenties is less prone to get injured at work rather than someone who is in their fifties. Consequently, companies may be reluctant to hire elder people despite their experience in order to prevent excessive medical leaves.

To address this issue, Governments should take measures to promote hiring people over fifty. They should cover part of the taxes companies pay to employ people. Because of this more businesses would hire elder employees in order to pay less taxes. This may expand job openings for people over fifty. For example, some restaurants hire disable people because of tax reduction. This policy could be implemented to employ elder people. Therefore, it is important that the Governments implement a public policy of tax reduction for companies that hire elder people. This could lead to more job openings for people over fifty.

In conclusion, age is an important barrier that people are facing in order to be employed, which could be solved if the Governments implement a public policy that promotes hiring elder people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by identifying a cause—employers’ concerns about older workers’ health—and proposing a measure: tax reductions for companies that hire them. The position is clear, and the examples about workplace injuries and restaurants help illustrate your points. However, the response focuses on only one cause and one main solution, so the discussion is limited. The health explanation also relies on a broad assumption that older employees are more likely to be injured or take medical leave; this needs evidence or a more balanced explanation. Develop the causes further, such as age discrimination or concerns about outdated skills, and explain how your proposed incentive would work and why it would be effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining a cause, a paragraph proposing a solution, and a conclusion. Ideas generally follow a logical sequence, and linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Consequently,” and “Therefore” make relationships between points clear. However, the repeated use of “people over fifty,” “elder people,” and “job openings” makes the progression feel somewhat repetitive. The solution paragraph also restates the tax-reduction proposal several times rather than adding a distinct supporting point. Improve cohesion by varying references and using the space to explain implementation or possible limitations, while keeping links between sentences natural rather than relying on repeated transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss employment and policy, including “health complications,” “reluctant to hire,” “tax reduction,” and “job openings.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and the topic-specific language is generally understandable. Some word choices and collocations are less natural or precise, however: “medical leaves” would be more idiomatically expressed as “sick leave,” while “elder people” is better rendered as “older workers” or “older adults.” “Disable people” is also an inaccurate form; use “people with disabilities.” Repetition of “hire” and “people over fifty” limits flexibility. Aim for more precise phrasing and a wider set of terms for age discrimination, recruitment, and workplace experience.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple sentences and more complex structures, including cause-and-effect clauses with “because” and “as a result,” and a conditional construction in “This could lead to more job openings.” Most sentences are easy to understand, and grammatical errors rarely obstruct the message. Some errors remain in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “despite their experience” is clear, but “a public policy with the Government involvement” needs a more natural article structure, such as “a public policy involving government.” In “the taxes companies pay to employ people,” the intended relationship could be expressed more clearly with “pay in taxes when employing workers.” Check article use, plural forms, and sentence boundaries, and practise varying complex structures accurately.

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