Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays,it can be vary diverse for individual over the age fivety to need better work has became a common issu in many countries.There are several reasons behind this situation.This essay will discuss the main cause of issu.

There are several reasons why this situation is happening.The main and foremost reason is that people then over 50 year age.He became elderly.And some people mind very slow.then over age.This is because over age.As a result, many people loss the mind.Due to, over work then 50 year age.The second reason is that numerous people do not get favourable jobs then over 50 age.Because many big companies do not accept over age employ.As a result, over age individuals loss in buisness.And the company reputation is destroy.

Another major reason is that many people do not get good job then over age.Due to,in young age he does not get higher qualification.So, he does not get better jobs.Moreover,many individuals then over age he angry everytime.Because the pressure of his work.Therefore,some industry do not offer good jobs.As a result,some individuals irritate them and this reason causing death.The third reason is that some people do not get good jobs because then over age his behaviour was very bad for every peron.So, this reason do not provide better job.

To sum up,there are various reasons behind then people over age of 50 to get good jobs.Some reason explain me the upper paragraph.So, i think people get good and better job in young.Because his mind relax and fast working.So, some companies offer favourable jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to identify causes, including employers preferring younger applicants, limited qualifications, and difficulties associated with age. However, the task asks for both causes and measures, and no practical solutions are developed. The conclusion instead says that people should get jobs when young, which does not address how the problem for over-50s could be solved. Several claims are also unclear or unsupported, such as “many people loss the mind” and the suggestion that poor behaviour causes people not to be hired. To improve, state a clear position and explain a small number of relevant causes and specific measures—for example, retraining, age-discrimination rules, or incentives for employers—using a brief example to show how each could help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “The second reason” and “To sum up” signal stages in the discussion. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the body paragraphs repeat that older people cannot get good jobs, while causes, consequences, and opinions are mixed together. Some links are difficult to follow, as in “Due to, over work then 50 year age” and “this reason causing death.” The conclusion does not bring the discussion together or answer both parts of the question. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, arrange causes before solutions, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a basic set of topic-related words, including “companies,” “qualification,” “pressure,” and “jobs,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, vocabulary is highly repetitive, especially “over age,” “good jobs,” and “reason,” and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make several points hard to understand. Examples include “favourable jobs,” “loss the mind,” and “company reputation is destroy”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. Build a more precise vocabulary for the topic, such as “older applicants,” “age discrimination,” “relevant qualifications,” and “workplace experience.” Check spelling and learn common collocations, then use them in clear, specific claims rather than repeating broad phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some sentence variety, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “so,” and “as a result,” and most sentences are intended to communicate a main point. However, control of basic sentence forms is inconsistent, and errors often obscure meaning. For example, “people then over 50 year age” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “many people loss the mind” has an incorrect verb form and “company reputation is destroy” has an incomplete passive construction. Subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with “because” or “although.” Check that each sentence has a subject and correctly formed verb, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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