Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It has believed by numerous individuals, in many countries in nowdays, the number of people prefer their education after school into coolages and university cources. This eassay has ample many beniefits and hit draw back, which will be elucidate this eassay and this paragraph.

Commencing with the most prominent reason, why many people like to prefer to continue their education after completing their academic into school after that presue thair higher education into collage or unieversitry and higher range of couce into foren country because it help learner to built their succesfull corier option, explore the new opperchunity and also broden their knowledge into collage or university also prefer the higher study like to built their currier in medical field or nonmedical field for instance many students like to prefer to have more interest in biology or in humanbody so also they go for this side to built their succesful currier in their future.

Despite the given arguments, why people disagre about to do not presure more education after completing their schools they believe that in skiils and other other work to broden enough money, they believe that they have learn the practical work and skills to secure their future. Because they also have not enogh money to presue their high education in university or collage whearas they prefered to develop their skills into electricion , artifical intelligene or computer skills after that they can presue their higher education and manage their expence into their collage fees and their basic needs after completing school.

Overall, many people like to prefer their higher education in schools moreover many learner do not spend more time into study or bulit their skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant reasons for continuing education, including career opportunities, broader knowledge and the cost of university, so the response is connected to the topic. However, the question asks whether the increase is positive or negative, and your position is not clearly stated or maintained. The opening says the development has benefits and drawbacks, while the conclusion merely repeats that some people study and others build skills. The discussion also shifts towards why some people choose not to pursue further education, rather than evaluating the overall development or the wider range of courses. To strengthen the response, state a clear view in the introduction and conclusion, then develop a few relevant reasons with specific examples and explain how they support that view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “Despite the given arguments” also shows an effort to connect opposing points. However, progression is difficult to follow because several sentences contain many ideas without clear boundaries, and links between them are sometimes unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from career options to studying abroad and then to biology and medicine without explaining how these points relate. The conclusion introduces a broad contrast but does not clearly resolve the argument. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a logical order, and use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “higher education,” “practical work,” “skills,” and “career,” and you try to express ideas about employment and study choices. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make several phrases difficult to understand, such as “unieversitry,” “opperchunity,” and “currier.” Some word combinations are also unnatural, including “prefer their education” and “built their successful career option.” These issues can strain the reader’s effort to interpret your meaning. Build a reliable set of accurate phrases for discussing education, costs and employment, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, use “pursue further education” and “broaden their knowledge” rather than translating phrases word by word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences and some subordinate clauses, but sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. The opening, “It has believed by numerous individuals,” has an incorrect passive construction; “the number of people prefer” also lacks a grammatical link between the noun phrase and its clause. In the body paragraphs, clauses are often joined without clear sentence boundaries, as in the long sentence beginning “Commencing with the most prominent reason.” There are also recurring problems with verb forms, articles and agreement, such as “they have learn” and “it help learner.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add one controlled subordinate clause at a time. Check each sentence for a clear subject, verb and punctuation.

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