Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I think this is the key of progress that the number of educated people are increasing as well as the opertunities are also increased.I am agree with this development because it brings prosperity in the countries and sence of humanity will also be increased.

I ancient time people were uneducated and they don't have any feeling for others.But in the present age it is because of education every one is well known about the value of humanity .So,you may know that less or more knowledege about any thing is dangerous.For example in recient ages a camel man was resting under a scupalt of tree and camels were grazing a melon got stuck in camel's throat and camel start to go dieing so, to rescue that the owner round a blanket around the camel's neck .

After that he instantly picked up a hammer and throw it toward the camel's neck immediatly the melon go into pieces and camel eat it easily .A person seeing that ,he go to next village and declare that he is able to cure guitor .An old women came close to him and ask for treatment he in that way kill the old creature.The purpose was that if you don't have enough knowledge of anything you have not to do that thing .For that it is the goodluck of human that they start to getting knowledge about everything.

In conclusion i would like to say that without education the life human is worse than animels .Or agarden with full of trees but all these are wed no in use such that a man without education is of no value.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the increase in higher education and available courses is a positive or negative development. The writer clearly states an opinion in the opening sentence ("I am agree with this development because it brings prosperity..."). However, the central body paragraphs rely heavily on an anecdotal story about a camel and a melon, and an unconvincing extrapolation about curing a goitre, rather than well-developed arguments about modern education, employment, or societal growth. While there is a stated position, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack logical extension relative to the task prompt, leading to a partial and somewhat tangential engagement with the core theme. Therefore, this performance aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are weak. The transition from the introduction to the main body is abrupt, moving immediately into an obscure folk tale without clear cohesive links connecting it to the topic of modern higher education. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes awkwardly, such as the frequent reliance on time markers like "After that" and "In ancient time" within the narrative section. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the paragraphing does not effectively guide the reader through a structured argument. The conclusion summarises the writer's sentiment, but the abrupt shifts in the narrative body heavily disrupt the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is limited and basic. The writer uses simple vocabulary and encounters frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as "opertunities" for opportunities, "sence" for sense, "ancient" spelled as "aiencent", "scupalt" for sculpture, "dieing" for dying, "immediatly" for immediately, "guitor" for goitre, "animels" for animals, and "wed" for weeds. There are also frequent grammatical colocation errors like "I am agree" instead of "I agree". While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a very basic narrative, these noticeable errors and the lack of sophisticated or precise academic terms place this response firmly in the Band 4 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is restricted. The response relies mostly on simple sentences joined by basic coordinating conjunctions, alongside a few unsuccessful attempts at complex structures that result in severe fragmentation and run-on sentences. There are frequent, pervasive errors in punctuation, tense consistency, and basic sentence construction, such as "the number of educated people are increasing" (subject-verb agreement error) and "if you don't have enough knowledge of anything you have not to do that thing". These numerous errors frequently strain the reader and obscure meaning, reflecting the characteristics of Band 4 grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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