Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Tertiary education has skyrocketed in recent years. But it is mostly failing its graduates to achieve thier coveted goals despite of high expenditure. Therefore, I would regard this phenomenon as a negative development.

After the industrial revolution,the automation of different technologies narrowed the field of manual labour as well as pushed various technical white collar job market to grow. As job market dictates the academic preferences of prospective students, the number of universities has grown significantly catering to the heavy influx of students. Higher pay, security and stability of white collar jobs have been the primary motivator behind this cause and these types of occupations often require higher degrees and technical expertise. Additionally, more fields have opened due to technical innovations and varieties of offered courses have increased accordingly. However, the growth in education does not always ensure the production of skilled labour required by the industry.

As more universities are founded and more courses are taught, the number of university graduates has risen significantly. A large proportion of newly founded universities is private and their admission fees are quite expensive. Many middleclass families in our country are investing their savings on the education of next generation. Sadly, they are getting jobless graduates in return of their futile investment. Because these universities do not often ensure the minimal standards of education. As a result, the graduates are lacking technical skills and expertise that they hoped to achieve at university. Therefore, the demand of skilled labour at job market is not met and number of jobless persons is increasing. On the other hand, education devoid of proper quality can not create a populace who are cut out to be entrepreneurs or businessmen. In short, it has been a profound waste of capital, talent and energy. To summarize, this development has affected our country rather than boosting our economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard the expansion of tertiary education as negative. You explain relevant consequences, including costly private universities, graduates lacking practical skills, and unmet demand for skilled workers, so the response addresses the question and gives a coherent line of argument. The discussion also shows some awareness of why participation and course options have grown. However, the opening claim that education is “mostly failing its graduates” is stronger than the evidence that follows, and the industrial-revolution background takes space without being closely tied to whether the development is positive or negative. The point about entrepreneurship is also asserted rather than illustrated. Develop these ideas with a specific example and acknowledge a possible benefit before explaining why the drawbacks outweigh it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the first body paragraph explains the growth in education, and the next develops its costs and consequences before a concluding sentence. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “As a result,” and “On the other hand” help show relationships between points. This gives the essay a generally logical progression. At times, however, connections are more signposted than fully developed: the shift from the industrial revolution to current university growth is abrupt, and “On the other hand” introduces a related consequence rather than a clearly contrasting position. The final “To summarize” sentence repeats the negative conclusion. Make transitions more precise and use the conclusion to synthesise the main reasons rather than restating the position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably broad range of topic vocabulary, including “tertiary education,” “technical expertise,” “skilled labour,” and “private” universities. Phrases such as “heavy influx of students” and “waste of capital, talent and energy” show an attempt to use less common language and communicate your concerns effectively. Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, however, which limits precision: “failing its graduates to achieve” does not express the intended meaning naturally, and “in return of their futile investment” is an awkward collocation. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “thier” and “middleclass.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations of words rather than elevated phrasing where the collocation is uncertain; checking spelling and standard forms would make the argument more polished.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “As job market dictates the academic preferences…” and a longer cause-and-effect sentence beginning “Because these universities…”. Most of the argument remains understandable, and the sentence structures allow you to explain causes and consequences. Some grammatical errors persist, though. For example, “After the industrial revolution,the automation…” needs punctuation after the introductory phrase, while “Because these universities do not often ensure…” is a sentence fragment. In “the demand of skilled labour at job market is not met and number of jobless persons is increasing,” articles and sentence structure need attention. Review articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, and vary complex structures while checking that each clause forms a complete sentence.

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