Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past years, the proportion of students who get higher education and the availability of a wide range of courses at universities have increased, leading towards a more educated community of people. Although it introduced problems like tough compition in job market and decrease in the acceptance rate of many globally ranked institutes, I believe that its advantage are far more significant as their education can help them in other aspects of life.

With the developments in technology, getting education has been made easier. However as a large number or graduates accumulate the hiring agencies, their list of requirments increase while the availability of jobs decrease significantly. For instance, in year 2020 the job market flooded with computer graduates and approxematly 80% of the degree holders remain unemployed fue to lack of seats.

Similarly, as a large number of students apply to enroll in various educational institutes, the faculty prioritizes those with highest acedamic results, leading to a much tougher competition among students. It also leads to increased tuition fees by the institutes as the students who got selected through the vigerous compitition cannot go back. This can lead to financial burdon on the families and depression in other deserving students who were not selected due to the acceptance limit of the institue. For instance, an enormous number of students in India apply for JEE, while only a few gets selected due to the tough exams and high criteria by IIT. This have lead to suicide and self-harming in many students which should not be neglected.

Despite these negative aspects, I believe that the increase in the literacy rate is a highly positive development as education is a must to grow responible, humble and productive individuals of the society. The above mentioned disadvantages can be addressed if governmets and ducational institutes cooperate. By making many branches of the same institue and increasing the departments to enroll high number of students, these issues can be handeld to some extent however the problem of ignorance is much harder to tackle. For instance, the educated genz of india protested against the unfair treatment by the educational authorities. THis was only possible because they were aware of their rights which was only made possible due to education.

In conclusion, I would say that altough this development has caused some new problem such as increase in acceptance criteria and unemploymnt, they can be tackled. The best and most prominent advantage of this development is the increase in literacy rate and giving rise to individuals who can speak against the wrong.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you acknowledge problems linked to increased participation and course availability, but argue that the benefits of education are greater. The response addresses both sides and supports its points with examples, including competition for jobs, IIT admissions, and young people speaking up about their rights. This fits a response that covers the task and extends its main ideas. However, some claims are broad or not fully explained: the figure about 80% of computer graduates being unemployed is presented without context, and the link between more courses and higher tuition fees could be clarified. Develop examples with precise explanation and connect them more directly to the overall question of whether the trend is positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two paragraphs discuss disadvantages and benefits, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking phrases such as “Similarly,” “Despite these negative aspects,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the progression. The organisation is coherent, and the main points are generally placed in relevant paragraphs. To make the progression more consistently smooth, clarify how some sentences connect: the discussion of increased tuition fees follows the admissions point but needs a more explicit explanation of the relationship. Some references, such as “This” in “This have lead to suicide,” are not fully clear. Use pronouns with unmistakable referents and vary transitions so the structure feels less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “acceptance rate,” “hiring agencies,” “financial burden,” “literacy rate,” and “unfair treatment.” These choices allow you to discuss education, employment, and social effects, but control is uneven and noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes distract the reader. Examples include “compition,” “requirments,” “vigerous,” and “unemploymnt”; “accumulate the hiring agencies” is also an unnatural collocation. Some expressions, such as “grow responsible… individuals,” need a more natural form. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, rather than relying on ambitious phrasing. More precise vocabulary would make your arguments easier to understand and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although it introduced problems…” and a conditional structure beginning “if governments and educational institutes cooperate.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction recur and can make parts difficult to follow. For example, “This have lead” should be “This has led,” while “only a few gets selected” needs plural agreement (“get selected”). In “the students who got selected… cannot go back,” the tense and meaning are unclear. Review subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and make sure each clause has a clear grammatical relationship. Careful editing would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex sentences.

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